Bob 16 (I hate it.)

I hate not having someone care about me the way he used to.

I hate not being someone’s top priority.

I hate that I keep looking at my mobile trying to see if I have a bbm and I find nothing.

I hate feeling like I want to cry.

I hate feeling lonely.

I hate feeling like I’m not needed.

I hate feeling like this.

I hate it.

I want it all to go away.

Ps. I'm sorry if my post have been very sad but I just need to let it all out and I feel like it's the only way. So bare with me. =)

Bob 15 (Want it when you can't have it.)

People only want it, when they know someone else wants it too. Is it because they always want what they can't have? Or is that they just feel jealous when that other person wants it and they don't like that feeling?

I get it when there are ones who don't want something until it becomes unavailable and then they go crazy sucking up to get it but there's a limit to that because people aren't stupid and they notice when you do those little things.

For example all of the sudden you become all lovey dovey when you feel that person doesn't see a need for you anymore after all the coldness you've given.

Another example would be when you buy a pair of gorgeous shoes but after a month you stop using them. Your sister asks you to borrow them, you say okay but deep down you don't want to. You see her wearing them and then you have this need to get them back because you want them more now since you don't have them anymore.

If you love a person or an item and care about them just simply show that.

bob 14 (The story ain't over yet but ..)

Hello my dear lovely readers! Well at least the ones that are still commenting. I just wanted to let you guys know that the story ain't over yet but I can't seem to finish it. It's very hard getting over it all and then trying to remember it to write it as well. And honestly, he's really not worth writing about it.

However I will start writing a new story and the dialogue is all going to be real.

Ps. For those who still read and comment on my blog, its very much appreciated! <3

Gonna Find Love Again - Summer 2008 (Part 4)

The night before the big shopping spree day.

On the phone,

Fahad: Nelly, A7bch.

Me: ana b3ad a7bik

Then for a second I realized I just told him that I loved him without even thinking about it. I mean it actually came out before I thought about it.

Fahad: ishglti?

Me: maglt shay ..

Fahad: gooleha mara thanya

Me: laaaa 7abebi ast7iii

Fahad: fdaaaaaiiit ili tst7ii .. wallah a7bch ya7mara

Me: latgoool chiii, ast7iiiiiiiii

Fahad: A7eeb la3wzich

Me: uff! 9ji ink i7mar, chalb oo b3ad i95alah!!

Fahad: i95alah? Mnn wain 6el3at hathii b3ad?

Me: ma3arf

Bob 13 (I think I'm over you.)

I have moments in my day where I miss you and wish we could go back to the way we were.

But then again when I actually was close to getting back to you, I couldn’t.

I can’t trust you like the way I did before.

Plus you hurt me once you can hurt me again and again.

Unlike you, I would never hurt the person I love most.

I just wanted to tell you that you’re a liar, I realize it more and more everyday.

I might not have had the strength to end it with you but thanks to my friends, they gave me that strength to end it all.

And I thank god that I ended it when I did cause you don’t deserve me.

I actually don’t miss you at all,

I just miss having that person who gave me the attention and loved me for me.

When you told me “Nelly you’ll never find someone who’ll love you as much as I do.”

Trust me I know I’ll find someone who’ll love me much, much more than you ever did cause if you “loved me” you wouldn’t have done what you did.

At night I think of you, it’s cause I just got used to your calls then and no one can really replace that right now.

That’s what I miss the most cause I really felt like I meant something to you.

You used to call me at 5AM in the middle of my sleep and would say "I called cause we7shnii 9otich."

That’s the only thing that’s making the getting over process hard

But other than that I think I’m over you.

Bob 12 (I can't.)

I can’t take this any longer.

I think about you all the time and all the pain you’ve put me through.

You promised you wouldn’t break my heart but you did.

I feel like a stupid cliché writing this but I can’t keep it in any longer.

I know to people this may seem stupid cause we weren’t together for so long but you meant so much to me.

You were apart of my routine.

You were there all the time.

I can pick up the phone and call you up and you’d come speeding your way to me.

You would do anything that makes me happy.

We were good together, really good.

But why’d you have to go and ruin it all?

I know I deserve better but sometimes I wish I can press rewind and make it all better.

You realized your mistake when it was too little too late.

This all began as a joke,

But it ended with something real.

As I’m writing this teardrops are rushing down my cheeks because I can’t take this any longer.

Gonna Find Love Again - Summer 2008 (Part 3)

Yes. I know I've been away for so long but it was so hard to finish writing and I had so much going on. Point is, I will be updating more now since I'm on holiday so it's all good. ;p

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It was nice taking a vacation from the city and well coming into another city, at least the dramas different eh? I couldn’t wait to shop, shop, and shop. Oh and of course see Fahad. I was so happy he was here; I wish two of my girls were here too. They would love it, I know Jazi’s a bit jealous cause she loves Thailand as much as I do.

I unpacked all of my clothes and wore my favorite skinny blue jeans and a white top. A little info about me, white tops are like my favorite, you’d see me wearing one pretty much all the time. I was craving mcdees, and let me tell you their mcdees is so damn good. Also it was open 24/7, so I called my grandma and aunt and told them I’m going to get food and if they wanted anything. Then later I called Fahad to see if he can meet me there.

Me: guess what I’m in the mood for?

Fahad: what? … Actually wait I know if it starts with an M then I get a kiss.

Me: yess it does! Yallah get up I’ll meet you there

Fahad: okay 7abebtii

I leave the hotel and cross the street to get to mcdees and I see this tall guy with a white shirt and jeans. I thought to myself, I’d definitely tap that. I then turn to my left I see Fahad crossing the street and start cracking up.

Fahad: ishfeech inti?

I couldn’t stop laughing.

Fahad: You know it would be nice to let me know what you’re laughing about so I can join you?

Me: No. You’re wearing a white shirt and jeans.

And I continue laughing.

Fahad: Yes, because wearing a white shirt and jeans is what that clowns wear these days too ha?

Me: No. No. Ugh, Never mind. Fdaaaaaaaaaaaitik!

Fahad: fdaitich inti.

Me: LA! Fdaitik INT!

Fahad: La, inti

We kept on saying “la int”, “la inti” and every time we said it we came closer and closer to each other. Until, our lips were so close that they were literally touching.

Fahad: sakrii 3aneech

Me: Laa Fahad ast7iiii!

Fahad: mno gal ana baswii shay, sakreehom oo bas

Me: Fahad latswii shay!

Fahad: mob imswii. Sakrii 3anich.

I closed my eyes and I slowly felt him coming closer to me and I felt his lips kissing my lips gently. I could’ve stopped him but I didn’t want to, I wanted him to continue. He slowly kissed my lower lip and then tilted his head and the kiss got more intense as I felt his tongue slowly make its way inside, I didn’t know what to do I just stayed there and made him take the lead. I finally pulled away and couldn’t look at him because I was too shy at that moment. I covered my face with my hair as I was too shy to see him or for him to see my face.

That was my first kiss.

Bob 11 (I'm Alive.)

To all my lovely readers,

I'm so sorry that I've been away for a month or so, but university is taking so much of my time its unbelievable. Plus, getting inspired when I have so much work is so hard, but I promise a week from today there will be a new post. I just started working on it today and I want it to be good before I post it.

I just wanted to see how everyones doing and to let you guys know I'm still alive.

PS. Nawari I love you and miss you so much! :*