Bob 16 (I hate it.)

I hate not having someone care about me the way he used to.

I hate not being someone’s top priority.

I hate that I keep looking at my mobile trying to see if I have a bbm and I find nothing.

I hate feeling like I want to cry.

I hate feeling lonely.

I hate feeling like I’m not needed.

I hate feeling like this.

I hate it.

I want it all to go away.

Ps. I'm sorry if my post have been very sad but I just need to let it all out and I feel like it's the only way. So bare with me. =)

Bob 15 (Want it when you can't have it.)

People only want it, when they know someone else wants it too. Is it because they always want what they can't have? Or is that they just feel jealous when that other person wants it and they don't like that feeling?

I get it when there are ones who don't want something until it becomes unavailable and then they go crazy sucking up to get it but there's a limit to that because people aren't stupid and they notice when you do those little things.

For example all of the sudden you become all lovey dovey when you feel that person doesn't see a need for you anymore after all the coldness you've given.

Another example would be when you buy a pair of gorgeous shoes but after a month you stop using them. Your sister asks you to borrow them, you say okay but deep down you don't want to. You see her wearing them and then you have this need to get them back because you want them more now since you don't have them anymore.

If you love a person or an item and care about them just simply show that.

bob 14 (The story ain't over yet but ..)

Hello my dear lovely readers! Well at least the ones that are still commenting. I just wanted to let you guys know that the story ain't over yet but I can't seem to finish it. It's very hard getting over it all and then trying to remember it to write it as well. And honestly, he's really not worth writing about it.

However I will start writing a new story and the dialogue is all going to be real.

Ps. For those who still read and comment on my blog, its very much appreciated! <3

Gonna Find Love Again - Summer 2008 (Part 4)

The night before the big shopping spree day.

On the phone,

Fahad: Nelly, A7bch.

Me: ana b3ad a7bik

Then for a second I realized I just told him that I loved him without even thinking about it. I mean it actually came out before I thought about it.

Fahad: ishglti?

Me: maglt shay ..

Fahad: gooleha mara thanya

Me: laaaa 7abebi ast7iii

Fahad: fdaaaaaiiit ili tst7ii .. wallah a7bch ya7mara

Me: latgoool chiii, ast7iiiiiiiii

Fahad: A7eeb la3wzich

Me: uff! 9ji ink i7mar, chalb oo b3ad i95alah!!

Fahad: i95alah? Mnn wain 6el3at hathii b3ad?

Me: ma3arf

Bob 13 (I think I'm over you.)

I have moments in my day where I miss you and wish we could go back to the way we were.

But then again when I actually was close to getting back to you, I couldn’t.

I can’t trust you like the way I did before.

Plus you hurt me once you can hurt me again and again.

Unlike you, I would never hurt the person I love most.

I just wanted to tell you that you’re a liar, I realize it more and more everyday.

I might not have had the strength to end it with you but thanks to my friends, they gave me that strength to end it all.

And I thank god that I ended it when I did cause you don’t deserve me.

I actually don’t miss you at all,

I just miss having that person who gave me the attention and loved me for me.

When you told me “Nelly you’ll never find someone who’ll love you as much as I do.”

Trust me I know I’ll find someone who’ll love me much, much more than you ever did cause if you “loved me” you wouldn’t have done what you did.

At night I think of you, it’s cause I just got used to your calls then and no one can really replace that right now.

That’s what I miss the most cause I really felt like I meant something to you.

You used to call me at 5AM in the middle of my sleep and would say "I called cause we7shnii 9otich."

That’s the only thing that’s making the getting over process hard

But other than that I think I’m over you.

Bob 12 (I can't.)

I can’t take this any longer.

I think about you all the time and all the pain you’ve put me through.

You promised you wouldn’t break my heart but you did.

I feel like a stupid cliché writing this but I can’t keep it in any longer.

I know to people this may seem stupid cause we weren’t together for so long but you meant so much to me.

You were apart of my routine.

You were there all the time.

I can pick up the phone and call you up and you’d come speeding your way to me.

You would do anything that makes me happy.

We were good together, really good.

But why’d you have to go and ruin it all?

I know I deserve better but sometimes I wish I can press rewind and make it all better.

You realized your mistake when it was too little too late.

This all began as a joke,

But it ended with something real.

As I’m writing this teardrops are rushing down my cheeks because I can’t take this any longer.

Gonna Find Love Again - Summer 2008 (Part 3)

Yes. I know I've been away for so long but it was so hard to finish writing and I had so much going on. Point is, I will be updating more now since I'm on holiday so it's all good. ;p

____________________________________________

It was nice taking a vacation from the city and well coming into another city, at least the dramas different eh? I couldn’t wait to shop, shop, and shop. Oh and of course see Fahad. I was so happy he was here; I wish two of my girls were here too. They would love it, I know Jazi’s a bit jealous cause she loves Thailand as much as I do.

I unpacked all of my clothes and wore my favorite skinny blue jeans and a white top. A little info about me, white tops are like my favorite, you’d see me wearing one pretty much all the time. I was craving mcdees, and let me tell you their mcdees is so damn good. Also it was open 24/7, so I called my grandma and aunt and told them I’m going to get food and if they wanted anything. Then later I called Fahad to see if he can meet me there.

Me: guess what I’m in the mood for?

Fahad: what? … Actually wait I know if it starts with an M then I get a kiss.

Me: yess it does! Yallah get up I’ll meet you there

Fahad: okay 7abebtii

I leave the hotel and cross the street to get to mcdees and I see this tall guy with a white shirt and jeans. I thought to myself, I’d definitely tap that. I then turn to my left I see Fahad crossing the street and start cracking up.

Fahad: ishfeech inti?

I couldn’t stop laughing.

Fahad: You know it would be nice to let me know what you’re laughing about so I can join you?

Me: No. You’re wearing a white shirt and jeans.

And I continue laughing.

Fahad: Yes, because wearing a white shirt and jeans is what that clowns wear these days too ha?

Me: No. No. Ugh, Never mind. Fdaaaaaaaaaaaitik!

Fahad: fdaitich inti.

Me: LA! Fdaitik INT!

Fahad: La, inti

We kept on saying “la int”, “la inti” and every time we said it we came closer and closer to each other. Until, our lips were so close that they were literally touching.

Fahad: sakrii 3aneech

Me: Laa Fahad ast7iiii!

Fahad: mno gal ana baswii shay, sakreehom oo bas

Me: Fahad latswii shay!

Fahad: mob imswii. Sakrii 3anich.

I closed my eyes and I slowly felt him coming closer to me and I felt his lips kissing my lips gently. I could’ve stopped him but I didn’t want to, I wanted him to continue. He slowly kissed my lower lip and then tilted his head and the kiss got more intense as I felt his tongue slowly make its way inside, I didn’t know what to do I just stayed there and made him take the lead. I finally pulled away and couldn’t look at him because I was too shy at that moment. I covered my face with my hair as I was too shy to see him or for him to see my face.

That was my first kiss.

Bob 11 (I'm Alive.)

To all my lovely readers,

I'm so sorry that I've been away for a month or so, but university is taking so much of my time its unbelievable. Plus, getting inspired when I have so much work is so hard, but I promise a week from today there will be a new post. I just started working on it today and I want it to be good before I post it.

I just wanted to see how everyones doing and to let you guys know I'm still alive.

PS. Nawari I love you and miss you so much! :*

Bob 10 (Experienced or Inexperienced?)

I started to think about this when one of my friends recently confessed to me he’s never had sex, and if you see him you’d expect him to be the biggest man whore ever! I was surprised and happy at the same time because if guys like him are still “good boys” then I think there’s still hope for me to marry that guy who’ll be a virgin.

When I was like 16, I was describing to one of my friends the guy I wanna marry. He had to be tall, tanned, hot, and sweet and he’d be a virgin. At that time I really believed that guys don’t do it, because you know its against our religion and everything, I mean its pushing it to the extreme. However, that friend broke my bubble and was laughing her ass off when I told her that. I was confused, because I didn’t really ask for something bizarre. She told me.

“Your living in this fantasy world that guys don’t have sex, well let me break to you honey, every guy in the country had sex and if you find one that hasn’t he’s probably retarded.” I couldn’t look at guys the same anymore, I just concluded that every guy I see is a “dirty boy”.

After that little info that changed how I saw men, I started thinking, do I wanna be married to someone who’s experienced in that field or someone who’s just like me new to it all?

The great thing about me not being his first would be that he’d know his way around and knows what turns a girl on. Nevertheless, he’d probably compare me with every girl he’s been and I’d feel the need to work really hard to be the best he’s ever had.

But if I was his first and probably his only, he’d never compare me with anyone else and I wouldn’t question my abilities. However, it does have its disadvantages because we’d both be new to it all and we’d need the 101 on everything. Then again, practice makes perfect.

Gonna Find Love Again - Summer 2008 (Part 2)

Hello my dear sexy readers.

I know that the post isn't so long but I've been so busy and I

didn't want to keep you guys waiting for any longer, so glt a short post is better than nothing right? :x

love you guys! :*

____________________________________________________

To: Fahad

Thank you baby, t3al you didn’t tell me are you guys still staying at the intercontinental?

From: Fahad

Laa were staying at the Grand Hyatt, ma7a9lna 7ajeez

I was kind of devastated that we weren’t staying at the same hotel but the hotels were like neighbors that it wasn’t such a big deal. I couldn’t stop smiling; this was definitely going to be the best holiday ever. Just thinking about Fahad puts a smile on my face. We finally find a taxi to take us to the hotel.

Grandma: feegathoom, ma7a9loo taxi a9’3ar ysawoona.

Auntie: yoma weeh ila dgeegtain oo bnw9al ilfonde8 inshallah.

I always laugh when grandma starts nagging about anything around us, she just does it in the funniest way and uses funny words. Sighs.

We check in and get our rooms; I had my own room at a different floor because there weren’t any available rooms together. I went to my room and my luggage was already there, it was pretty dark already and so I get into the shower cause I felt pretty dirty from the pollution in this city.

I wrap a towel around me and leave the toilet; I look at my phone and no new message or any miss calls. So I decide to call him, I missed him so much. I miss his voice and everything about him.

Me: HEEEEELLLOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Fahad: baaal! Ishfeech it9ar5een?

Me: madrii bas wayed mstansa oo wa7shtnii

Fahad: 7bebti, inti w7ashtnii akthar, I miss having you in my arms

Me: 9jj? Inzain imagine me in your arms right now and were just in the most comfortable position and we never wanna leave.

Fahad: galbi inti

Me: 7bebii int!

Fahad: oo b3ad inty shno labsa?

Me: oh oh oh bdaaina!

Fahad: Yallah 3ad, you gotta give a guy a little.

Me: Well right now, I’m wearing nothing but my towel. Is that good enough?

Fahad: More than enough.

Me: Inzain oo b3ad?

Fahad: Your head on my chest and my legs wrapped around yours.

Me: Hmmm …

We stayed silent for several minutes, I was thinking of what we were talking about, how good it would feel to be in his arms, feeling safe and loved. I really wanted to be with him, and when I say be with him, I mean just with him nothing sexual. I imagined him playing with my hair and my hands on his strong muscular thighs. I snapped out of that after another few minutes.

Me: FAAAAAHHHHAAAAD!! FAAAAHHHHAAAD! FAHAD! Are you there baby? I CAN’T HEAR YOU? FAAHHAAD.

Fahad: HAAA? Ishfeech 9arg3teeni! Ishfeech? Ish9aar?

Me: wala shay 7bebii

Fahad: ishfeech chii it9ar5een. And I was in a peaceful mood, 5arbtii the mood kila.

Me: okay 5ala9 3ayal bye

Fahad: laish bye?

Me: cause apparently a5reeb ilmood so yallah bye.

Fahad: Nelly tadreen ana makan 89dii chii

Me: ha 3ayal shnoo 89dik?

Fahad: wallah madrii ishkaan 89dii bas I don’t want you to hang up babe.

Me: silent

Fahad: Your giving me the silent treatment a7een?

Me: silent

Fahad: Nelly, ya a7la Nelly ibhadnya. Yallah walla tz3leen

Me: ana mob z3lana

Fahad: itg9een 3ala mno inti? I know your upset baby I wallah I didn’t mean anything by what I said and I take back everything and you know what, bkra I’ll make it up to you when we go out.

Me: were going out?

Fahad: eeh akeed we are.

Me: wain bnrooo7?

Fahad: Let that be a surprise baby.

Me: YAAAAY! I can’t wait.

Fahad: I can’t wait to see your face again. Magdar afargeech hal gad.

Me: 9j?

Fahad: eeh 9j. ikfaya you chftich ‘6hrich youm d5alt kan fee 5a6rii almeech. Baby I’ve missed you so much its unbelievable.

The Girl xx

Gonna Find Love Again - Summer 2008 (Part 1)

Here's the new post, its not too short or too long. I hope you guys enjoy it. :x The post is dedicated to all my great readers! :*:*

____________________________________________

I could not believe summer was finally here, Fahad and I would talk on a daily basis, and our conversations would consist of debating about god knows what, flirty comments, a few little hot sexy conversation here and there. I realized everyday how much I was lucky to have him, of course I wouldn’t tell him that 3shan mayekbar rasa 3alay. Anyways, it was already mid-July andfinally the day we’d leave and travel was here. It was the summer where we left to Thailand and let me tell you, I love Bangkok, I was so excited to leave it was unbelievable. I went with my grandmother and little aunt, it was the first time I travel with them but I knew I’d have a blast because they are both hilarious people.

I couldn’t wait to touchdown in Bangkok; I couldn’t wait to see all the gorgeous hot 5aleeji’s coming for holiday there, I couldn’t wait to go crazy shopping, I couldn’t wait to eat French fries from Mcdonalds. There was so much I was looking forward to, I just adore it there and mostly I couldn’t wait to get that gorgeous sun kissed tan for all my friends to see.

We got into the airplane at 8 am in the morning and I was so tired, barely had any make-up on. We had to land in Dubai first and from there go to Bangkok. I started looking at the list of movies, since it was a 7-hour flight. I finally agreed to watch the Notebook, since I was in the mood for a romance movie. We landed in Dubai and we had to wait inside the airplane for an hour. I was sitting alone at the front row because my aunt couldn’t leave my grandma all by herself. I looked out the window and a bus with a bunch of people approaching our plane. Oho, I looked like shit I didn’t want any hot guy or any one to see my like this. People started taking their seats and finally the airplane was going to take off. I wanted to take a peek at who entered the plane, maybe one hot emaratii I could just stare at and drool over.

I wanted to go to the toilet but I didn’t want to go to the one in front, I really wanted to see who was behind me, I felt the place was packed and so I was intrigued. I stood up and made my way to the back, I was too shy to look at anyone, my head was down. Jeez Nelly, really? Like really? Couldn’t even take a damn peek?

I waited for the toilet since it was busy; I really needed to go to the toilet. What’s taking this person so long? I look left and right and try to spot someone decent, uff I can only see the back heads of everyone. Finally the person who was occupying the toilet opened the door, my head was down the whole time and so I put my head up. And my face was in shock! Now guess who it was? Seriously? Drum rolls please!

FAHAD!

I know, can this scene be any gayer; I mean why the hell is he here? And why didn’t he tell me? I starred at him again to make sure that it was really him, and it was. I really felt like I was in a cliché movie, I pinched myself to see if this was real or I was just dreaming. OUCH!

Oh this was no dream, it was pretty damn real, I just looked at him and he had that smile on his face.

Fahad: Nelly? Shtsween ihni?

Me: Your asking me ana shaswii ihni? This is my plane! I told you I was going at this time and this date. A7een fehamt youm ts2lnii about my flight number, inzain shola matgooli??

Fahad: Knt abii afaj2ich?

Me: Are you here by yourself?

Fahad: la la akahii ilwalad m3ay, oo wld 3amii oo ilwalad ihnak fee Bangkok mnn isboo3

Me: Y3ni you knew this whole time that you were gona be in Bangkok for the summer and you didn’t tell me?

Fahad: eeh, ana 6ool ilwakt mstanes inch btjeen Bangkok.

Me: inzain roo7 ig3ad fee your seat oo ana baroo7 il7amam oo ba6la3 oo basaleem 3ala umik

I went to the toilet and did my business. I looked at myself in the mirror, I need to put something on my face, and it was so pale and looks very tired. I knew I should’ve slept last night instead of pulling an all-nighter. I left the toilet and was looking for Fahad and I found him and his mom sitting next to him. I approach them and go say hi to her.

Me: Hala 5altii

Um Fahad: Hala 7bebtii, sh’hal mofaja2ah il7ilwa

I blush, since I didn’t know what to reply.

Me: sha5brich 5altii?

Um Fahad: il7emdiallah b5air, inti sh5barich? Oo mabrook 3al t5arooj

Me: tmam il7emdiallah, allah ybareek feech.

I blush some more and I can see Fahad next to her laughing his ass off at me.

Me: 5ala9 5altii ba5leekom. T2mroon 3ala shay?

Um Fahad: laa 7bebtii ila salamtich.

I glance at Fahad and give him a smile and go back to my seat.

I couldn’t believe Fahad’s here, it was so hard to wrap my head around the idea. How long is he gona be there for? Is he here for me? I don’t think so; he’s here with his family. I don’t really care, aham shay he’s here and he’s gona be in Bangkok, yaaaiiy.

I glanced at my aunt and grandma; they were so deep in their sleep.

I continued to watch the notebook, after it love actually, followed by continuous episodes of friends. I was in the best mood ever and no one can ruin it for me. The flight attendant announced that we’re descending and so I got out of my seat to take off my 3abaya and I grabbed my make-up bag with me.

I went inside the toilet; yes my whole life was revolved around me being in toilets. Anyways, I started to apply some make-up, not so much though so it doesn’t seem so obvious that something’s different. I take off my 3abaya and play with my hair it was pretty poofy so I tied it in a ponytail and left the toilet. I opened the door and made my way to my seat. I walked slowly and I can see that Fahad was staring from the tip of my eye. Sighs, or maybe I was imagining that happens sometimes too.

I sat at my seat and looked at the window and saw Thailand or something that looks like land so I just assumed it was Bangkok since that was our destination. We finally landed and first thing I do is turn on my phone.

3 new messages

From: Haya

I overslept! Knt abii aklmich before you leave!

From: Jazi

Il7edmallah 3al salama mo8adaman!

From: Fahad

You look sexy. ;)

The Girl xx

Bob 9 (Love Happens)

Yes, I'm finally back and found sometime to writing something. I've missed my blog and missed every single person who constantly comments and reads all most posts :*

I thought I'd start my first post with a bob and then hopefully by tomorrow or the day after a new post for my story will be posted and let me tell you, it'll be one hell of a post ;p, hopefully, inshallah.

So I was in class bored to death and so I start youtubing what new movies are going to come out and I come across this movie that made me get major goosebumps. I love romance movies, always tend to put me in the best mood and makes me believe that there's someone out there for me. I know what I just said cannot be anymore cliche, but I live for cliches.

Anyways here's the trailer, Jennifer Aniston stars in it and let me know what you guys think.

LOVE HAPPENS

Did I mention that I've missed you guys so much, well I do and I hope you guys didn't forget about me O=)

Hiatus (I'll be right back)

Hello my sexy ass readers. 

Did I tell you that I love you guys, like a lot? Anyhoo, I'm not gona be posting anything for about a week, hopefully less. Just wanted to keep you guys informed. =) 

The Girl xx

Gonna Find Love Again (Part 27)

This post is dedicated to my love bug Aphrodite. Love you to death gorgeous.

Do enjoy the post ;*;* (Ps. I love every person who comments on

my story, cause wallah they all always put a smile on my face!)

_____________________________________________________

I kept staring at him, my hands were

still crossed and I tried to give a straight face, so he feels bad.

Fahad: Yallah get in.

I stayed quiet and just kept on staring at him, he looked at me straight in the eye, we had a few seconds of just staring at each other and he gave me that smirk and I couldn't help but smile.

Fahad: fdaaaaaait hal ibtsama, doom inshallah

I put my head down and in a very very low shy tone, I say.

Me: weeyak inshallah *face turns red*

Fahad: y5ttttiiii wallah ityanen!

I make my way to the car, openthe door and see a pink flowers on the passenger seat, it was those flowers that are very small and you find a lot in your garden. Well I've seen a lot of them.

Me: haay shu?

Fahad: What does it seem to you? a bomb?

Me: sa5eef! mnn wain jeebta?

Fahad: on my way back to you

Me: Can you be anymore cliche?

Fahad: Yes I can actually, you want me to write you a poem too?

Me: No this will do. Thing is I live for cliches

Fahad: aham shay you like it Nelly.

Me: Of course I do baby, it's from you.

Fahad: Inzain yallah get in, it pretty hot outside.

I get in the car and close the door and he starts driving. I play with my hair and look out the window, everything seemed so beautiful. I had no idea where we were and I was the type of person that knows every road in the country. Suddenly I feel something warm grabbing my hand, I turn and see Fahad holding it and he gives it a soft kiss and keeps holding my hand. I give him a big smile and he responds the same way and then our fingers intervene and I felt so safe. Right there with him.

I wanted to stay there forever, just like that. I knew I couldn't, I had to call the damn driver to come get me. So I do and tell him to come pick me up from the same place he dropped me.

Fahad: laaish you called him? twa badrii

Me: Fahad, I can't, lazem areed ilbait. Bas can we go to the mcdees abii ice cream boo riyal.

Fahad: Inshallah

We eventually get to mcdees and I take my order and Fahad didn't order anything. I started licking my ice cream, and I can see his eyes on me. It was so funny, problem is I was probably making him laugh. Then guess what I do, since I'm so clumsy, the ice cream drips on my blouse.

Me: Kila mn 3ainik! itha kan fee 5a6rik chan you ordered

Fahad: It didn't look so good then but seeing you have it, I wanted it too.

Me: basik, hold this, let me clean my blouse.

I give him my ice cream and clean my blouse with the tissue, I tried to get most of it but it needs some more cleaning. I turn to take my ice cream back, ila its not there.

Me: wain my ice cream?

Fahad: madrii wallah

Me: faaaaaaahhhaaad!

Fahad: I couldn't help but eat it. Please lat3a9been.

Me: ufff, fine! this time ba5aleeha tmshii

We finally arrived at xx place and I gave him a wave and paced my way to the car in a hurry cause I didn't wanna be late even more. The whole way home, I was thinking about him. I couldn't help but thinking about him, I was so happy to have him in my life. I finally arrived home and went straight to my room, changed into my pjays and got into bed.

I always have to look at my mobile before I sleep and so I do, I see two messages.

One new message.

From: Fahad

You don't understand how happy I was today and still am. kalmeni gabel matnameen

One new message.

From: Hamad

Can't stop thinking about you since last night.

Dear god, really? Y3ni does Hamad have a radar when I'm happy and trying to move on, he sends a message like that. I wasn't sure if I was gona reply to him or not, cause I still had some feelings for him, I dunno I was really confused back then. I got comfortable in bed and called Fahad.

Fahad: Hala o'3ala

Bob 8 ( The addiction we have for dirty hot messages)

An example of a girl and guy dirty texting. (Ps. It usually gets worse than this.)

Boy: You looked so sexy in that dress you had on the other night. I wanted so much to take it off you and run my fingers all over naked body.

Girl: 7bebi, it makes so hot when you say that. I want you, now.

Boy: Tadreen ina loo inti m3ay ihni chan magdar amseek nafsi.

Girl: Hmmm ..

Boy: Abii bosa.

Girl: laaa

Boy: Yallah 3mrii, I miss the taste of those lips

Girl: Ast7ii

Boy: fdaaaaait ili tst7ii ana, Give my your lips and I'll do all the work.

Girl: Okay.

Boy: Garbii

Girl: Garabt

Boy: b3ad izyada

Girl: akanii garabt b3ad

Boy: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmwwwwwwwwaaa777.

Girl: Hmmm ..

Boy: i wanna taste you

Girl: :$

Boy: Abii amee9 ilsanich

Girl: Ma3arf

Boy: inti 6al3eli iyah

Girl: akaah baby.

Boy: aaa55, it tastes so good! mmmmm ..

I can go on forever, but let's not make this bob into a prono. So I was laying in bed all alone thinking, looking through my messages and I had a void for hot messages. I mean it's not like I had a million guys sending me them, I actually just had one. I miss him but I miss those messages even more. I know it's weird, however I don't think I'm the only one that feels like this. I bet a lot of girls do, I'm just more open about it I guess. I read in a magazine once, its the best way to turn the heat in your relationship.

I mean I do enjoy getting them when it's from the guy I love, it's meaningless when its a random guy or someone you don't feel so deeply attracted too. Also the thing that made the dirty messages more hotter and more valuable is that it was from someone special that deeply cared about me and didn't see me as a piece of meat.

I prank called someone once, it was random and childish. Anyways, he was a very peverted man, though I didn't know that at that time, it was just for a laugh. Throughout the 10 minute phone call he kept on saying stuff like, "amoot 3ala ili wara", "aaa55 iw9feeli jsmich" or "fdait jsmich". It was disgusting, like really. However if that came from someone I wanted and loved, it might have thrilled me a little. Point is, dirty messages are an addiction, I don't know if its just me or others feel the same way.


Ps. The messages between a the guy and girl are random, I made them up.

Bob 7 (Why do we let guys affect us so much?)

I was watching an episode from Sex and The City for over the 3rd time maybe? I can never get bored of the show. Point it is, Miranda the red head said something that made me think.

"We can feel totally good about our-selves.....and then it all goes out the window if the guy doesn't mirror it back to us."

That really made me question myself, how many times have I let a guy bring down my self esteem? And if so, why do I let a guy have that much influence on me? I'm not saying all girls let guys affect them that much, but most girls do. I, myself gave the advantage to a guy once, and I made him control how my day would be, if he was all nice to me and gave me a small bite of his attention, I'd be in the best mood ever! Hyper, happy, smiley, funny and so on. But there would be the days, which were most days, where he didn't give me much interest, now god forbid someone would talk to me, I'd be all moody, depressed, sad, mad you name it. It took me ages to realize that the guy didn't care about me as much as I did for him and it made me real sad, but why? Why can't we be like men and couldn't careless, why do we have to go and say "oh I bet it cause I looked really bad today", "He doesn't like girls like me, no guy is ever interested in me." or "I'm really ugly that's why he's not interested."

Why should we feel bad about who we are, just because one guy is not interetsed. We should face the fact, that not every guy in the small world we live in will be interested in us, and we shouldn't blame ourselves for that, it'a probably because were just not his type. It's normal. Us girls need to feel good about ourselves and not let anyone take that from us.

Gonna Find Love Again (Part 26)

This post is goes to the gorgeous Lilo ever! A7bcccch :*:* This might not be so long, bas inshallah you guy's like it ;)

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I do want him, that’s the thing. I wanna feel loved, I mean I’m not saying the love that my family and friends give me is not enough, it’s more than enough. But the love he’ll provide me will be so different; we won’t be friends with a lot of flirtatiousness and benefits. We’d actually have a relationship. I’d be his and he’d be mine, only mine. And if I just let him go, I know I might not get someone as good as he is, I mean these days the good ones are going like how bags become sold out. Plus I’d be so jealous if he was with another girl. I think that proves that I do want him but I’m worried he’d turn out like Hamad, I mean Hamad is still good with me. I don’t wanna lose him. Ahh! This is too much for me to handle. I really do think Fahad might be different, but then again that’s what every girl says about the guy she likes and wants. What am I gona lose if I become his, I mean why not try it and let it slowly progress into something strong and real. What if we break up? Does that mean we’ll never talk to each other and bkon fee awkwardness? Laa I don’t want that. T3abt, I hate thinking, it hurts my brain. Uff.

Fahad: Nelly, I’m sorry if I’m too forward. Tell me that you don’t want me and I will never bother you with this.

I stare into his eyes; they look so innocent and genuine. I wish all guys were just like him and would be as good as him. He’s so sweet, makes me feel so special and never have I felt upset or mad or anything bad with him. I’m always in a good mood when I’m around him; I mean how could you not be with that smile that brightens my day. He makes the world a happy place, shit, no this is not happening. I like him so much already. You know what I’m not gona do the mistake I did with Hamad, I mean at that time I didn’t know that I was kinda used, me and Hamad are friends till today bas haven’t heard from him for about four months from today. Nothing new there though.

Me: Fahad bas what if we break up? I can’t ever lose you; I always wanna have you in my life. Six years of you being so far away was enough. I can’t take anymore than that.

Fahad: babe, don’t worry, that’ll never happen.

Me: Are you sure Fahad?

I frown and he parks the car somewhere I have no idea where we were, it was so dark. He cups my face with his both big hands (again that’s a HUGE bonus ;)) and then he looks deep in my eyes and gives me the sexiest smirk ever and kisses my forehead.

Fahad: I’m positive. Just give me the green light and I’ll take care of you.

Me: Bas Fahad,

Fahad: basich bas Fahad, tara law3tii chbdi, 5ala9 golelii okay oo bas.

Me: hahahaha, Okay.

Fahad: 9j Nelly?

Me: eeh 9j

I give him a smile, and I still remember that smile, it was from my heart, cause I was so happy at that moment. He leaves the car.

Me: HELLO? INT WAIN RAYEE7??

He opens my side of the car.

Fahad: I6LE3II YALLAH!

What the hell? What’s wrong with this boy? I didn’t even have time to wear my 3abaya or shella, wayed 3a9abii, Laykon he’s bipolar or something. I look around, and the place seemed like I park I guess bas seriously there was no one there. I was kinda scared, glt akeed he’s pulling a prank ila, he faces me and just looks down to me cause he’s so tall. We had about a meter between us, then out of know where he pulls me towards him and holds me tight in his arm. Since he was very tall, I kinda reached his chest oo he held me so tight, it didn’t feel sexual, it felt like I was safe and I had someone that’ll always make me feel like that. My legs were in between his, like his legs were open oo ana my legs in the middle. That kinda felt hot, oo it was the first time I ever hugged a guy like that and I’m hoping he’ll be the last. I just wanted him, no one else.

Fahad: 7bebtii inti

Me: Aren’t I lucky to have you

Fahad: You lucky? Trust me babe, you’re not as lucky as I am. I have the girl that I want in my arms. I don’t think it can get any better than this.

We stayed in the position for about another few minutes, until I pushed him away and he accidently fell on the floor

Me: hahaha sorry, didn’t mean to make you fall.

Fahad: wallah inch matst7een

I give him my hand to help him get up, instead he pulls me to the ground and I fall. He gets up fast and starts pacing to his car.

Fahad: hahaha, look who’s on the floor now. Byeeeee!

Me: FAHAD FLAN AL-FLANI, I know you’d never leave me here.

Fahad: you sure about that?

Me: Of course

I pull myself off the ground and start walking to the car, he’s already inside, ila the car moves, and not slowly, fast. I wasn’t gona run to it, I know he’d come back, i7mar, yaheel. The thing is the car keeps going further and further away, I didn’t even have my phone to call him oo threaten that I’d kill him. His car disappears, until I see it again, il2hbal went around the whole park and then came around to me. He opened his window. I crossed my hands and stayed staring at him.

Fahad: What’s the going rate for you people? How much for you to spend the whole night with me?


The Girl xx

Bob 6 (Interpretation)

I was googling as I usually do, then I came across this love site and found this interpretation of how guys and girls view love.


Boy:I saw her today...
Girl:I saw him today...
Boy:It seems like its been forever
Girl: I wonder if he still cares...
Boy:She looks better than before...
Girl: I couldn`t help but stare
Boy:I asked her how she was
Girl: I asked him about his new girlfriend
Boy: I`d choose her over any girl
Girl: He`s probably happy now
Boy:I couln`t look at her without thinking i would cry.
Girl: He couldn`t even look at me...
Boy:I told her I missed her...
Girl: He told me he missed me...
Boy: I meant it...
Girl: He didn`t mean it...
Boy:I love her
Girl: He loves her...
Boy: I held her
Girl: He gave me a friendly hug...
Boy: Then I went home and cried...
Girl: Then I went home and cried...
Boy: I lost her
Girl: I lost him
Boy: *Sigh*
Girl: *Sigh*

When I read that, it kinda broke my heart, cause truly there are people who just over analyze situation and misunderstands what the other means. I mean in this situation the guy really wanted the girl and she thought he's moved on and didn't have any interest in her. However usually it'll be the girl over analyzing every word the guy said and what he meant by that, I mean I myself am guilty of that sometimes. There are times when we should take things as they are and just go with the flow and let it be.

Ps. Again do make sure your volume is on to listen to one of my favortie Lady Gaga songs. As the amazing Lady Gaga say's "Cause, I do not, accept any less than someone just as real, as fabulous." That should be every girl's moto.

Gonna Find Love Again (Part 25)

I have to say this is dedicated to all my lovely readers! All your comments mean so much to me and always tend to put a smile on my face, really.

Do enjoy my sexy ass readers. ;*

Ps. Do make sure your volume is on, so you can listen to one of my fav buble songs. The song always tends to put me in the best mood ever! ;p

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I don’t get why I was feeling guilty, it’s not like I’m Hamad’s. I can do whatever I please to do, whenever I want to. And it’s not like Hamad was head over heels in love with me. I mean I know when a guy loves me and when he doesn’t. Tho I want him, cause I know I can’t fully have him. Ugh, Why was I so stupid when I was younger. It’s not like we’d end up together, what was I thinking?

The evening came by so fast, so I started to get ready for me and Fahad’s date? Or hangout? I have no idea what it was exactly? The thing is I put myself in these situations, sighs. I look at my closet, trying to find something decent to wear. I find this cute green printed see through blouse, I get a white tank top to wear under it, black leggings and my gladiator flats that are just to die for! Seriously. My look was causal bas at the same time not too casual; most importantly it doesn’t look like I’ve tried too hard. Someone once told me, guys appreciate simplicity and find the beauty in it. I put the usual make up I do, but no liquid black eye linear, wanted to look natural but pretty at the same time. I braid my fringe on the side like Lauren Conrad does, I love doing it. I saw this video on youtube and it teaches you how to do it like her and I’ve always wanted to learn, so why not show off my talents.

I finally take a look at myself in the mirror and I loved how I looked honestly, I was happy with the outcome. I finally remember that I need to call Fahad, cause I have no idea where he wants us to hangout.

Me: Hala Fahad

Fahad: ahlain feech, haa weenich?

Me: a7een ba6la3 mnn ilbait. Bas I called to ask, where are we meeting?

Fahad: xx petrol station, I’ll pick you up mnn ihnak oo we’ll go wherever from there.

Me: okay, yallah bye.

Fahad: bye

I hung up.

I call the driver to get the car outside, wear my 3abaya and leave home. In about 15 minutes I finally arrive at xx petrol station, Fahad wasn’t there yet, so I went down and told the driver that I’d call him later to come get me. There was a Mcdonalds there and so I go in and order a supersize French fries and coke with ice. As I got my order and was about to indulge in it, my phone rings.

RING RING RING Fahad RING RING RING

Me: Kinda late aren’t we?

Fahad: inti ma9adgtii ina I’m late so you get your mcdonalds. Yallah 6le3i

Me: bye.

I hung up.

I see his black range approaching me; damn does that car get to me every time. Ps. the car the guy drives is a very important factor to me, I’m not saying that he has to drive a Ferrari or whatever expensive car. However he does get bonus points if he drives a car like a Range Rover, BMW x6. I open the door, and loud music blasts off, it was Bed By J.Holiday. I love the song, and let me tell you he had good taste in music and the music he listens to goes perfectly with his personality. I get in the car and place my coke 3nd the cup holder thing then close the door.

Me: You know this is Haya’s favorite song, seriously. She has amazing taste in music, nafsik.

Fahad: Now why wasn't I introduced to Haya then.

Me: hahaha, Inshallah when your back.

We were just staring at each other for about a few seconds, until I moved my eye to my food. He always has a way to put a smile on my face. A555 ya galbi, I’m so confused. I told myself, for the next few hour, I’m gona forget about Hamad and just enjoy my time with Fahad. I took another peek at him and I loved what he was wearing. Very casual, but too sexy for words, a fitted black polo shirt and dirty jeans. He has a hot style ysakeet 3ala kil ilshabab, well that’s what I thought anyways. He caught my eyes analyzing him mn fog lain ta7at, so I turn and nibble at my French fries. I look to the right and then I felt thirsty so I turned to take a sip from my coke, but it’s not there anymore. Guess where it was? Yes, your right, in his hands and he’s drinking from it. A little info about me, I hate sharing my drink, hate it.

Me: Fahad! Give my drink back!!!

Fahad: laa I’m thirsty

Me: I don’t care, uff.

Fahad: hahahaha, your soo easy to get to.

Me: Hmph. Give it!

Fahad: la

Me: uff

Fahad: a7la shay lama it3a9ben

Me: You sure hay a7la shay?

Fahad: yep!

Me: Okay

I approach him and my face is so close to his face like my lips are 2 inches away from his and I move my way to his cheek, and you can feel he’s all relaxed, and just when I was about to kiss him, I pull my coke away from his hands. At that moment I felt like I won, but as I was going back to my seat, he pulls my face back and place’s a fast yet hot kiss close to my cheek and his lips move and kiss the left side of my upper lip. I got an electric shock, I don't wanna admit it but his lips felt so good where they were. As soon as I snapped out of it, I went back to my seat. I don’t know what just happened, I mean I didn’t know how to react, I’m not gona lie I did enjoy it but was it what I wanted?

Me: You shouldn’t have done that.

Fahad: You shouldn’t have come so close to me; do you know how hard it is to keep my hands off you when you’re this close?

Me: I was just teasing you to get to my coke.

Fahad: Why are you scared Nelly?

Me: I’m not scared, I just don’t wanna get into anything.

Fahad: laish? Y3ni I want you, in every way. You know you can trust me, I mean we’ve known each other since youm yahal. We’ve traveled together, y3ni, why can’t you let me take care of you?

Me: I don’t know, I don’t wanna depend on anyone like that. What if you break my heart? And don’t say you won’t, cause you never know what happens in the future

Fahad: inti laish chii it38deen ilsalfa. Just go with the flow. Plus, I can’t break your heart cause we’ve got history. It’s not like I’m some random guy you just met and your getting to know. Our families are good friends. You know me and I know you.

Me: I know Fahad, bas

Fahad: bas shno? Kila bas bas bas

Me: Fahad don’t be like that.

Fahad: Your forcing me to be like this. Nelly you can lie to yourself bas I know you like me and so do I. I mean I wake up in the morning thinking of you. I sleep thinking of you. And for the past month, I’m getting a feeling that you’re drifting away cause your scared to fall in love.

Me: I do like you Fahad. I don’t know, I hear people getting hurt by the guy they love oo madri shnoo.

Fahad: ee bas the majority of these people, seeda get into love. But with us it’ll be different, cause we were friends at first and then slowly progressed into something more. They say the bases of a good relationship are when you were good friends at the beginning. Bas of course it’s not 100% accurate and it doesn’t work for everyone. But I think it’ll work for us, plus lets say if something happens, oo inshallah la, we’ll always be friends because that’s how we started.

Me: You’ve really thought about this, haven't you? Wallah the girl that’ll have you will be one lucky girl.

Fahad: Nelly, be that girl. I want you and only you.


The Girl xx

Bob 5 (Is love a want or a need?)

Is love a want or a need?

Us girls seem to be settling on for anything, these days. Where'd our dignity go? Is it cause due to media and what they perceive as love, we want it more than ever now? I feel like, love is not a want anymore, its a need. I mean sometimes I try to make myself believe that I can wait till I get married and fall in love again. However when you watch shows like Sex and the City, Gossip Girl, Lipstick Jungle and so on, you want the love that they have. And I always tend to change my mind, especially at nights, when I'm all alone and I miss that person that stayed up with me and made me feel so special. Once you had a small bit of the cake, you wanna go back for more. Sometimes I believe it's better never taste it, then to get a tiny piece of it. You just always keep going back to the time where it tasted so good. 

It's so hard to find that person, that person that'll satisfy you. I feel like it's so much easier for people around me to find someone they like these days and it's much harder for me. I can't seem to find that guy, that one guy, that's everything I ever wanted. Maybe I just have high expectations and no guy can really reach them. Then what am I suppose to do, have less expectations and take what I can get?