Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Gonna Find Love Again (Part 2)

I still haven’t spoke a word to Jazi and Haya about Hamad calling and his message that made get all tingly everywhere. I know after what happened, Haya would be so pissed if I even replied.

You see I’ve known Hamad for three years now, how we met was so funny. I saw his picture on a friend’s album on facebook and fell in love. I know crazy, but I believe that if I like something I got after it and never let it go. Maybe that was my mistake. We both lived in different countries, but what’s the harm in a little fling.

My friend meme was in school with him, and I told her that I really wanted to talk to him. She was so happy and she told me he was single too. She gave me his e-mail with no hesitation, and she went to talk to him the next day in school and told him all about me. The way we met is so cute, like we give out e-mails these days.

I remember our first conversation on msn.

Nellz: Hey

2: hey, you Nelly right?

Nellz: Yeah :P

2: Your meme’s friend? She told me a lot about you

Nellz: Oh dear god! Inshallah good stuff

2: Yeah .. don’t worry all good ;)

Nellz: Look I’m sorry if this is so random, bas I dunno youm chft your picture. I
felt comfort and you just seemed like a great guy to be friends with.

2: Yeah it is random .. bas from what meme said you’re a keeper. ;)

Nellz: Good I guess =)

2: nice dp .. is that u?

Nellz: yep, I was bored.

2: Oh.. I like it

We continued talking for hours, and I loved everything I got to know about him. He loved one tree hill and Gossip Girl. I loved talking to him cause I felt like we knew each other for so long.

2: Tadreen .. this is so weird bas mn one conversation .. I feel like we’ve known each other mnn zeman

Nellz: I know, its soo funny how much we have incommon. I feel like I’m talking to the guy version of me.

Hamad was 185 cm, tan skinned, shaved head, fit, great abs and gorgeous legs that were a perfect shade of brown.
Just thinking about him puts a smile on my face.

For the past 6 months we got to know each other as JUST FRIENDS. Until one day.

2: You know I wanna tell you something .. bas I hope it doesn’t ruin what we have now.

Nellz: Nothing can =)

2: I like you a lot .. I hate the distance between us … I feel like we can never be anything .. I’m sorry if I’m so honest bas I couldn’t not tell you .

Nellz: I like you too bas why can’t we be anything. I mean were not the first people to ever to have a long distance relationship.

2: Inzain .. listen to taking back my love by Enrique ft. ciara

Nellz: ana agoolik shay oo inti itgooli go listen to the song. Are you even listening to me?

2: Are you even focusing with me .. I’ll focus better if you listen to the song first

Yeah, what did I do but give love to you?
I'm just confused as I stand here and look at you
From head to feet, all that's not me
Go 'head, keep the keys, that's not what I need from you

Till this day whenever I hear the song, I remember him.

Nellz: I love the song. I love all the songs you give me. Can we go back to our

2: ee bas I don’t even remember what we were talking about.

Nellz: wallah i7mar, I remember don’t worry.

2: That’s what I love about you.

Nellz: ILMOHIM, I can’t keep these feelings inside. You’re asking me to lie to

2: That’s not what I’m saying. It’s just hard; I’ve never had someone like you. I don’t know what I’m suppose to do.

Nellz: Whatever, lets just close the subject cause its not gona end good.

2: Okay.

Nellz: You know we’ve known each other now for about 6 months and I’ve never heard you voice or had an actual conversation with you.

2: I know 

Nellz: Okay here’s my number 134464584. Call me.


Hamad’s calling.

The Girl xx

Monday, June 29, 2009

Gonna Find Love Again (Part 1)

Worn out and weary I stare at the clock…it’s 6:14…I sigh hoping the big hand wont tick to 6:15...my sister’s voice kept nagging
The Sister: Yallah goomy wa9leeny I’m gonna be late to school!!

I hear my mom’s voice in the background yelling at my brother..their words echo in my room.. one would go coco in this morning shindig
I ask myself do I need to wakeup? 5 minutes passed and its 6:20..
I silently glide to my bathroom door…lock myself in there and plainly stare at myself in the mirror..do I need to put makeup on? Wait..what for? Exactly. There’s no one out there. Let’s be realistic..there’s no one to impress nor no one to care about.

During those 10 minutes I spent infornt of my bathroom mirror I realized something else..i’m easy to impress, but I lose my interest real fast. Whether it be bags,music,shoes,guys..my interest fades within days or weeks. It’s basically a roller coaster of emotions.

I'm finally up and dressed, I don't even care what I'm wearing, there's no point anymore. I'm so tired I can barely focus on the road. I check my blackberry Nothing…yet. Great. I check my other phone; I find another “nothing”. I don't get it..really..what was I expecting?. I mean I'm the one that ended it. After all he was a jerk. He was expecting too much from me and I guess I gave him a little bit more than what he expected.

I miss him though, well not him per se, but having someone there. Oh god there goes my hand touching the phone again.. I was close to messaging him..but my sister’s voice interrupted my train of thoughts
The Sister: Nelly mama’s picking me today you can drop me off here…

Back to my wild thoughts I thought to myself..when am I going to snap out of this bullshit..you know what.. I will not let this come again and ruin another day of my life so I call jazi..jazi and I have known each other for years..but we haven’t been good friends until school ended..it’s true that a yr passed by but our friendship seems like a life time..a typical thing to say.. clich├ęs can be true.

ring ring ring

Me: hey gayma?
Jazi: hmmm..
Me: meta regadti?
Jazi: b3ad ma kalamt sa3ad
Me: weeeh ma9adig, ish9ar m3ah?
Jazi: madrii 3anah, I was messaging him ishway oo kil message ygoooli aroo7 anam, kila yabeenii anam
Me: hahaha cuutte!
Jazi: hmmm very
Me: Haa? bn6la3 il9be7?
Jazi: ee choofi haya gayma?

Haya: wenich?
Me: 15 mins oo bakoon 3ndich

I turn up the volume as soon as the track changed to Brandy - Gonna Find my love

I could feel it when I woke up this morning
I just knew it when I opened my eyes
Don't know what it is, but I know something's coming up for me
Oh, oh yeah
And I don't even have no expectations
I've been burned, I've been hurt, yeah I've cried
I survived all of strives and tribulations
And I'm back alive, oh yeah

I love this time of the day, cruising around and listening to music..just dreaming and going to a new place…until a stupid car honks at you because you’re holding up the traffic. Listening to this song reminds me of the great people I have in my life and no guy can ever replace them. My friends.

On my way to meet haya and jazi, my 2nd phone rings and its Hamad. Damn it, why the fuck is he calling? Honestly, I was actually glad to see his number flashing. I didn’t pick up although my hands were on the verge of letting go of the steering wheel to grab that fone..he’s an ignorant ass..

1 message received:

Wench? Tarach 3ala baly..and I will keep calling.

The Girl xx

P.S Hamad is not the guy I was talking about in the beginning.

About me

You know I love reading blogs, and since a while ago I've always wanted to write one but I don't where to start. What you'll be reading in the upcoming posts, may be true and may be not. So just read it, enjoy it and love it. =)

The Girl xx