Friday, July 31, 2009

Gonna Find Love Again (Part 21)

Sorry it took ages to post this post, was very very busy. And the electicity fil bait ams tsakar, no lappy or computer. siighs

Anyways do enjoy. :*:*


Ahhhh!! Hay byanenii, lazm before I sleep these message, that seriously kill me and it makes it hard for me to sleep. Fuck him. I’m gona take Panadol night and sleep like a baby. Oo wallah bchoof. He couldn’t call me and tell me that? He couldn’t even send a better message than that? Y3ni sorry AY SHAY!! Akreeeeeha! Bas I miss him!

I take some panadol and sleep, cause I have a long day tomorrow and need to be at my best. Oo bilal Jazi’s last party before all the stress and pressure of exams.

Next day.

I woke up so early, running late. It was a day full of events, I was a good host for the b7raini school and damn kan fee wa7ed shbah Hamad wallah I thought it was him when I first saw him. I have this thing for b7raini guys. I know everyone finds it like the weirdest thing bas I find them all so hot. Even the ugliest ones. Point is I love b7raini guys.

I was running from one place to the other, these b7raini boys do love to move. The guy that looked a lot like Hamad eventually approached me.

B7raini guy: Hey

Me: Hii

Umm, is that? Is that all your gona say gorgeous guy? Sighs. Ilmohim the day was coming to an end and I needed to rush home so I can go the party. Mnn galb I felt like a party, I wanted to dress up and everything. I haven’t heard from Fahad or Hamad the whole day. I didn’t even think of either that much.

I knew exactly what I was gona wear, my white roman dress with the heavy gold leaf belt on my waist and my gold gladiator’s and I’ll just use the curler to curly my hair. Make up the usual, bronzer, concelar, thick liquid eye linear and some white shimmery eye shadow for the eyes to pop, my favorite orgasm blusher (Yes, I bought it cause of the name, so hot. ;), fee super orgasm b3ad more glittery, for the more orgasmic look), I put my fuchsia chanel rouge. I really liked how I looked; many of the dresses I wear are usually roman inspired. I find the sense of fashion in their time was phenomenal. I was finally ready to go, I really liked how I looked.

Forgot to mention, I love make up, and I’m good at doing it, I mean I do better make up for myself than others. I dunno why, bas the point is, I’m always complimented about my makeup and everyone loves my make up bag fil jam3a. 7ata once I forgot my make up back with jazi for like a week. So Jazi and Maha (a girl whos with her in uni) use it for the whole week and when I finally get my hands on it. Maha tells me.
Maha: Tara whenever we have your make up bag, it’s like we have our best looking days fee uni.

I laughed and took it as the best compliment ever!
Anyways back to High school and the party.
Before I leave my phone starts ringing, akeed Jazi asking me itha 6ela3t mnn ilbait yet.


It’s Fahad! Yaaaay!

Me: Ilsalam 3alekom

Fahad: wa3alekom ilsalam, sha5brich? Weenich the whole day I don’t hear from you?

Me: ana il7emdiallah b5air, wallah I was busy m3a the basketball tournament babe. Ilmohim ishg3ed itswii?

Fahad: wala shay, I called to see if you wanna hangout.

Me: a7na moo fee Switzerland where we can hangout whenever and wherever we want. So where’d you say you wanna hangout? Lana I’m on my way to Jazi’s party

Fahad: umm .. we’ll we can just cruise around for a bit. And no your not driving!

Me: A9lan magdar I’m wearing a dress oo were so not sitting in the same seat!

Fahad: A dress? How short are we talking? 3aib!

Me: Very Very Very Very short baby! Oo y7mar I’m gona wear my 3abaya over it. As I said before A7NA MOO FEE SWITZERLAND 3SHAN A6LA3 BDON 3ABAYTI!

Fahad: Inzain hadi,

Me: When I’m talking to you I can’t you get on my nerves

Fahad: Only your nerves?

Me: aaa55 3ala hal tafkeer, ilmohim ana akoon 6al3a mnn ilbait bakoon in xx in 10 mins.

Fahad: Okay yallah bye.

I hung up.

Damn, who's that girl in the mirror, mhhhm *snaps fingers* :P
I finally arrive at xx place oo told the driver to park, kan fee baskin robbins close so I was I went in to get some ice cream, I've been craving chocolate and peanut butter since god knows when. I got Fahad espresso, I'm not sure what flavor he likes, bas I know he always has those starbux shots, so I'm sure he'll like it.
I pay and leave the place and open the door to his range, I see him. I got in and closed the door. I gave him his ice cream and I started nibbling at mine. He just sat there doing nothing. He was wearing a white thoob with a red '3tra, oo the way ili imsawii '3treta kanat t'thbaaaa7!

Me: umm .. are you gona move sometime soon?

Fahad: laaa

Me: laish inshalla?

Fahad: lana I hate espresso ice cream oo I want the one 3ndich

Me: well too bad, it's mine.

Fahad: I'm not gona move till you give me some.

Me: Fahad wth, its my ice cream and I really don't wanna share it.

Fahad: ana mabii you share it, just a spoon.

Me: UGH! Give me your spoon.

He hands me the spoon and take a scoop from my ice cream and hand him the spoon, but instead of using his hands to eat it, he just eats the ice cream and starts driving.

Fahad: soo gooli sh5barich?

Me: good oo int?

Fahad: ana il7emdiallah b5air.

I slowly pull my sheela down cause the car was steaming hot, feeta7t 3abaytii, I didn't wanan go to the party sweating. I start to look for the AC button

Me: int shoola ga3eed fil 7ar chii?

He didn't answer. I finally pressed on the AC button and put the max, damn did the cool air feel good. I turn to him ila achooa staring.

Me: ishfeek itchoofeni chi?

Fahad: ha?

Me: agoolik ishfeek itchoofeni chii?

Fahad: la la wala shay wala shay.

Me: okay. Weirdo

We stayed silent for a while, so I thought why not just turn the radio. 7a6ait 3ala Jazi’s fav fm channel.

I turn the volume up and you wouldn’t believe what song was blasting Dreamstreet – It happens everytime. OMG, ‘3BAAAAARA! Bas I love the song, puts me in a gay happy mood. I used to have a huge crush on Chris Trousdale. I used to fantasize about him and me being bf/gf. Anyways So guess what I do?

Asta6reeb, thing about is, I don’t care where I am, I love to just randomly dance to the song. So I start moving to the music and singing.

Me: You make me feel I’m so alive *points at Fahad*

Me: It happens everytime when I see you, It happens everytime I think of you *point at my brain* baby dooooooown on dreamstreet!

Eventually the song ended and so I stopped and then I was so thirsty so I open my bag and drink my bottle of water. Later, I turn to Fahad, ila achoof wayha a7mar oo mara wa7da infeega3 mnn il’67eek. Like seriously HAHAHAAHAHA!

Fahad: hahahahahahahahaaha, I can’t believe I didn’t video tape that.

Me: 5ala9t?

Fahad: HAHAHAAHAAHAHA! Bamoot! Come on if I was doing what you were doing, chan ma’67akti?

Me: hmm .. yeah it would look very stupid for you to do that.


I pick up.

Me: Hala jazi

Jazi: inti weenich? Did you leave home yet?

Me: eeeh I did.

Fahad: JAZI!! HYA M3AY, 3ADI IT5ALEENHA M3AY! 3a6eeni akleemha

I put Jazi on speaker and give him the phone.

Fahad: Hala jazi, sh7alich?

Jazi: Hala Fahad, tmam, int sh5bar?

Fahad: il7emdiallah b5air , 3ndi 6alab oo mabeech itrdeen feeh

Jazi: shno?

Fahad: ‘6roori jazi tji il7afla? Y3nii matgdreen it5aleenha m3ay?

Jazi: eeh abeeha ihni.

Fahad: y3nii killish lazm?

Jazi: choof b36eek sa3a oo b3dha lazm itjii

Fahad: 5ala9 mshkoora Jazi matga9reen

He hands me the phone, I take her off speaker.

Me: I’ll be there as soon as I’m done babe.

Jazi: eeh okay, am I still on speaker?

Me: laa laa not anymore

Jazi: Nellyo, 9oota 7ilo!

Me: adrii ana shagool 3ayal!

Jazi: inzain ana basker, 3shan anzel 7ag the guests. Call me as soon as your close and don’t be late!

Me: eeh okay 7bebtii byee

Jazi: byee

I hung up.

Me: You know we could just hangout tomorrow y3ni moo lazm a7een

Fahad: bas I can’t stand seeing you leave me looking like that.

The Girlxx

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Gonna Find Love Again (Part 20)

This post is extra long 3shan Gossip Girl ;* and ofcourse for all my gorgeous ass readers!

Love u and keep reading. ;)

PS. Download Down - Jay Sean ft. Lil' Wayne. It's so damn good! ♥


What the hell did he just say? Why would he say that? I thought kan bas yabii ybee6 chbdii ina this girl al7a mni oo stuff. Does he actually mean me? Weeh. It’s all in my head I’m sure. My head hurts. Ugh .

Me: rasii!

Fahad: ishfeech chii sawtii break?

Me: I thought you said something bas I just heard you wrong

Fahad: What’d you hear me say? Maybe you heard right

Me: laa, 9adgnii it’s in my head and I’m hallucinating.

Fahad: I’ll just repeat what I said and tell me if that’s what you actually what you heard. It’s perfect, just like you. Is that what you heard?

I stayed quiet, I didn’t know what to say. Uff, ast7ii and the fact that I’m so close to him made it even harder to react.

Me: Now why would go saying something like that?

Fahad: cause I’ve been wanting to say it since I saw you the other day fee xx restaurant.

Me: You’re just used to always having a girl and so you think you like me bas you don’t, mob tweek you wanted me to hook you up with one of my friends?

Fahad: You know I only said that cause I wanted to see if you’d get jealous or not.

Me: Fahad latsthbel 3alay.

Fahad: I’m not wallah I’m serious. Look at me!

Me: mabii

Fahad: Nelly inti laish chii

Me: bas, you can’t do this to me

For some reason, I started crying and I couldn’t stop crying, I cover my face with my hands. I continue crying.

Fahad: Nelly? What’s wrong? Don’t cry, wallah your killing me.

Me: Fahad its not you

Still crying. ila I feel his hands, touching my hands oo he took my hands off my face

Fahad: who’s the guy that hurt you this bad?

Me: no one, I’m just pmsing, sorry .

Fahad: la 3adi 7bebtii, You know I’m here for you no matter what

It was nice hearing that from him, like someone actually cared about me. He gives me tissue so I can wipe my tears.

Fahad: Your so cute you know that.

Me: oho kila cute!

Fahad: eeh, cute, adorable, gorgeous everything.

Me: Thank you.

Fahad: 5an ne6la3 mnn ilsayara to get some air

Me: okay

He opens his side of the door and leaves and I follow him, ila he opens the back door oo y6alee3 kees dukan with my Perrier and salted cashews. Perfect. That’s exactly what I need. He comes close to me and bends, ila out of nowhere he carries me oo my head ta7at like foog his ass oo he just runs to the grass and puts me down.

Me: ishfeek maynoon?

Fahad: I only become like that when I’m around you.

Me: umm .. okay.

Fahad: Kafich.

Me: ee akeed kaifi 3ayal kaifik int

I look at my clock. Shit I’m late to the study group oho.

Me: oh my god, Fahad you need to drop me off back to school lana I’m late to my study group

Fahad: okay yallah we’ll go.

We go back to the car, I go back to sitting in the passenger seat oo he’s driving. He didn’t say a word to me, a9lan even if he wanted to the music was too loud for us to hear each other. When we got to the school. I turned to him.

Me: This was fun, real fun.

Fahad: Yeah it was.

Me: Well I gotta go now, bas I wanna see you soon.

Fahad: okay

As I was about to go down, I felt his hands grabbing mine, I turn to him ila I see him smiling. I felt chna electricity mnn foog lain ta7at. And he slowly holds my hands even tighter and his fingers make way in between mine. I turned away from him and closed my eyes and bit my lips cause wayed ast7i. He finally let go, I turn to him, ila achoof he’s staring to the road ahead of him, smiling.

Me: byeee Fahad

Fahad: Bye Nelly, shdii 7aleech and actually study.

Me: Inshallah.

I close the door and as I was walking, the car still didn’t move till I got into the building and when he left, I couldn’t help but jump. I was so happy, I loved feeling like this such a damn good feeling. I see the whole gang was already there.

Nawaf: la la zain sharfteena

Me: sorry, traffic, ana moo nafsik my house is close to the school.

Haya: inti ishbalach chii your smiling chinch maynona

Me: laa bas chii, I’m in a good mood, jw3ana tho

Nawaf: yeah twna 6elbna mnn kfc, zinger supreme with cheese only for you don’t worry.

Me: That sounds perfect.

My phone vibrates, I open it.

One new message.

From: Fahad

Now I really can’t stop thinking about you, your hands, you so close to me. You may not admit it bas I know you felt something.

Obeeeh. Cutttttte his message. Oh I did feel something especially youm mask my hands.

To: Fahad

We’ll talk about it later; you can’t make me blush to my phone, kil 7ad bsheek feeni


Jazi: weeh Nello, ishfeeh wayhich istwa a7mar?

Nelly: 9j? hay ymken mnn ilkatma ihni

I couldn’t wait to go home to talk to him, I wanna know what he has to say. Though I have no idea what I would say. I honestly have no idea what the hell I’m gona say, I dunno how I feel about him.

Nawaf: Btw did you see the basketbell tournament board 7ag which school your incharge of?

Me: laa, I’m gona go see., Jazi t3alii m3ay!

Me and Jazy head to the gym to see the list, ila I look for my name Nelly Al-Flani: xx school (baharain). I looked at the name again, it was the same.

Me: Jazi look at the school I’m in charge of

After she finds my name.

Jazi: Inzain ishfeeh?

Me: Jazzii! That’s Hamad’s school!

Jazi: zaaain! You’ll get to see him a lot.

Me: weeh nsait agoolch, he messaged me ams telling me his grandma died oo ina he doesn’t wanna talk to anyone, oo he’ll call me when he’s all better. So no it’s not something good at all. I don’t even know if he’s coming!

Jazi: shit, allah yr7am jadetah, obeeh, it5aylay if he comes shu btsween?

Me: madrii!! Oho! Oo btw when I was blushing 3ala my phone y7mara that was Fahad, zain ina Nawaf mafeeham shay. Oh yes I was with Fahad tara before coming here.

Ila Haya oo Nawaf oo Sawsan oo Reem da5leen 3aleena.

Reem: haay Nelly who you incharge of?

Me: umm .. xx school

Haya had the look like omg bas she couldn’t say anything cause Sawsan, Nawaf oo Reem the bitch was there.

Me: umm .. what are you guys doing here?

Sawsan: I came to help Reem with her DT work

Me: oh zain. Nawaf did our food come, I’m hungry!

Haya: ee ana b3ad! *while she was eating her ready salted lays*

Jazi: 5alna nrja3 mokana and we’ll call them oo inchoofhom wain

Nawaf: ee okay, 5ala9 Sawsan oo Reem inchoofkom b3dain. Bye

Fdait Nawaf fanan, y3arf how to get rid of people. I give him a high five, well to him a low five, always likes to make fun of my height, ilmshkela I’m not that short, bas he knows how much it gets to me.

Are KFC finally arrives we eat while were studying, and seriously we were studying. Uff malal so I text Haya, 3shan maygoolon ina were disrupting.

To: Haya

I think I might like Fahad

From: Haya

Weeh ishsawa hay b3ad?

To: Haya

I was with him gabel majeekom, 3shan chii I was smiling. He held my hands and let me tell ya I felt electricity, mn foog lain ta7at. It was soo hot, oo how his fingers moved in between my fingers. A55 ya galbii!

From: Haya

That’s so hot. 3ad, bas moo ygoolch shay seeda itgoolen okay, make him want you even more.

To: Haya

Hahaha, Don’t worry, you taught me well ;)

One new message.

From: Jazzi

Into laish your messaging each other oo ana laa

To: Jazzi

Hahaha, tmalalna :P plus I’m just telling her the things I told you, o I’ll tell you both the rest all later lana Nawaf will notice ina were all txting.

Nawaf: hay into, kil wa7da 3ala jawlha, hal 7arakat matsht’3el m3ay

Me: hahaha, sorry wallah, bas I’m bored

Nawaf: 3ayal ana ili I’m having so much fun cause I have nothing better to do then study.

Me: let’s go to the preschool playground

Haya: eeeee!! We really need a break, we’ve been working so hard!

Nawaf: Inzain into roo7o, ana baroo7 a6la3 m3a ilshabab.

Me: ohoo Nawaf laish matbeen itjii m3ana?

Nawaf: shaswii m3akom fee playground mal yahal?

Me: nsthbel?

Nawaf: laa 3adii, mabii, ba6la3 m3a my cousins a7san

Me: Inzain bkra let’s stay after school oo study.

Nawaf: ee okay y9eer 5air, yallah it2mroon 3ala shay gabel ma roo7?

Haya: laa mashkoor.

Nawaf: okay, byee

Nawf left and me, Haya and Jazi made our way to the playground and I was telling them both everything that has happened, they felt real said about Hamad’s grandma bas happy with what happened with Fahad.

We were playing like little kids; we ended up sitting fil swings oo just talking about everything and how we were waiting for universities to reply to us, with our acceptances inshallah.

Me: You guys it5ayloo loo I didn’t get accepted, I mean what am I gona do?

Haya: ishd5al your not gona get accepted, m3a the interview ili 9ootich wa9el bara3 asmee3a thak ilyoum I don’t think so. Inshallah kil 5air.

We called our drivers and each made her way to her home. I can’t wait to go home and lay in bed. I’m so tired. Ams manemt, oo now nothing is gona stop me from sleeping like a little baby.

I finally arrive home and get in the shower and change into something light and go to bed. I didn’t wanna do anything but sleep. Yes I can be chicken sometimes, bas I like sleeping and waking up at like 3 o’clock to talk to Hamad bas guess that’s not happening any time soon. I finally fall asleep and wake up at 2:30ish, its like a reflex, I have to be up at that time. I look at my phone, ila 3 miss calls, Jazi, Fahad and Haya.

I call Haya.

Haya: haa?

Me: Haya shtsween?

Haya: obeh, inti shu la 9ootich chii? Wayed horny. Mno imkalma inti?

Me: I just woke up. Fahad called me, shall I call him?

Haya: ee 3adii call him, bas 3adill 9ootch, ilwalad maydar bysh6a6

Me: hahaha! Ma7ad 3nda a hot voice nafsich wallah.

Haya: noo me and Jazi said ina inti lama you talk to guys 3ala the phone 9otich a7la shay.

Me: bl3aks I like your voice more. Ilmohim baroo7 akleem Fahad a7een

Haya: okay bye

She hung up.

She can’t wait for me to say bye, seeda itsakeer, sighs.

To: Jazi

Baklem Fahad a7een oo I’ll call you when I’m done with him. :*


I call Fahad

Me: Aloo?

Fahad: hala wallah

Me: ahlain.

Fahad: sh5barich? Shklich twich gayma mnn 9ootich

Me: eeh twni wallah, ana il9ara7a t3bana jsmi mtkaser

Fahad: Weeh laish inshallah?

Me: mnk int

Fahad: ana ishswet?

Me: You squeezed us to one chair

Fahad: haha, well I was comfortable. Weren’t you?

Me: la not at all! Next time I’m gona push you out.

Fahad: oh, so there’s gona be a next time?

Me: eeh, How am I suppose to learn how to drive if I don’t practice.

Fahad: You know you have the softest hands.

Me: umm .. You have real big hands?

Fahad: Really?

Me: ohooo! I didn’t mean it like that!

Fahad: I bet you didn’t

Me: Inzain wainik a7een?

Fahad: fee ‘3rftii, I was about to go to sleep

Me: okay 3ayal 5ala9 ana basker

Fahad: laa laa ma89di ina I want you to close, bl3aks I wanna hear your voice.

Me: ohoo latgool chii ast7ii!!

Fahad: laish tst7een,

Me: Inzain agool roo7 nam, I’m gona go back to sleep, 3ndi bokra gooma mnn il9be7 unlike you.

Fahad: hahaha okay. Inzain abii shay mnch before you hang up

Me: shu?

Fahad: A kiss.

Me: n3am? Twni agoolik ast7i oo a7een tabeen a36eek a kiss? La ma3arf ast7ii

Fahad: laa laa hay ilexcuse maysht’3el b3ad ilsa3a 12 .. kil shay 3adi after 12

Me: laa

Fahad: 3shani, so I can go to sleep.

Me: Fahad wallah ast7ii!

Fahad: la matst7een.

Me: ohho, hay awal o a5er mara asweeha and if you ever ask again I’ll kill you. Okay?

Fahad: okay

Me: mwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwaaah!

Fahad: wain?

Me: CHEEKS bas!

Fahad: Okay I’ll take the for now.

Me: Happy?

Fahad: wayed!

Me: blmubarak

Fahad: Nelly?

Me: hmm?

Fahad: laa 5ala9 wala shay

Me: you sure?

Fahad: eeh

Me: okay yallah go to sleep. Goodnight.

Fahad: Noom il3awafy

Me: allah y3afeek, sweet dreams.

Fahad: You too babe.

I hung up.

Hal walad cute wala shu? Uff! Akreeha bas he’s soo cute!

I call Jazi

Jazi: HELLO!!

Me: ishfeech mshta6a wayed?

Jazi: mafii noom killish!!

Me: hahaha, inzain bagoolch, agool dgeega I think I have a new message

One new message.

From: Hamad

Don’t expect to see me tomorrow, I quit the team.

The Girl xx

Monday, July 27, 2009

Gonna Find Love Again (Part 19)

I know this post is kinda just kinda short, bas I know you guy will enjoy it! Love u guys ;*


Me: Faaaaahhhhhaaaad, Laish chii int? Y3ni why can't you trust me? I'm good.

Fahad: How do you know that if you've never done it before?

Me: umm .. I got to the highest level fee need for speed, I'm a pro

Fahad: hahahahaha, wallah inch it'67keen, just come sit next to me, the seat it big enough for the both of us. Your tiny oo ana I'll push myself to the door, don't worry I won't do anything.

Me: ast7ii

I took off my flip flops and made my way to his side of the car and sat there. I had to put left leg on his right leg so I can drive, ugh that liar it can't fit both of us without us being so close, I could feel him breathing, bas I was real comfortable I must say. He smelt soo good, never smelt that perfume on anyone.

Fahad: Okay, are you comfortable?

Me: Not really, I'd rather you go to the passenger's seat, but again you wouldn't do it. Can we bring the seat ishwaya ydam, I can't drive so far away from the steering wheel.

Fahad: eeh okay bas I can't fit then. You can sit on my lap it'll get you closer to the steering wheel, like a little baby.

I turn to see his face and see that sexy smile on him. uff, I give him a look and turn to look at the road.

Me: Laa, 3adi I'm fine like this.

Fahad: Okay the right thing ta7at hay for acceleration oo the one of the left is the brake. Now press the one on the right.

I do what he tells me.

Me: So tell me about this girl that you can't take her off your mind?

Fahad: Well, it3jbnii wayed. She's so petite yet not to tiny. She smells like ..

He sniffs.

Fahad: Vanilla

Me: I want some music, wain your ipod?

Fahad: You focus on driving, I'll play something, just pass me the ipod jambich

I get the Ipod and give it to him, he plays amazing by Kanye west.

Me: damn I love this song.

Fahad: I had a feeling.

Me: Inzain continue about this girl.

Fahad: ooh she has hair ..

He takes my hoodie off my head.

Fahad: exactly like yours oo the blackness.

Me: umm .. shu? hay ilbnt, ma7ad has hair as black as mine honey.

Fahad: hahaha, Inzain oo she has lips big bas not in an obvious way, and pouty.

Me: How many times have you seen this girl? I mean inta laish you look at every detail.

Fahad: I always focus on the details.

We stayed quiet for like about a minute and I put the volume of the song up and I just starred seeda, ila I take a glance on the left to see what he's doing. I see him staring at me.

Me: int ishfeek itchoofeni chii? Is my driving that bad?

Fahad: It's perfect, just like you.

Ila I hit a strong brake and hit my head on the steering wheel.


The Girl xx

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Gonna Find Love Again (Part 18)

Sorry, that I've been gone for so long, it's just that I had so much to do in so little time. Anyways I hope you guys enjoy this. love u guys ;*


Shu? His grandma died? Oh my god and I actually was suspicious, I knew there was a good reason for his disappearance. Not to be mean, but what the fuck is with the message? I mean can I message him, call. I really wanna hear his voice. Poor baby.

I don't wanna text him, if he doesn't want me to, bas mo 3adla, I'll just send a message of how sorry I am.

To: Hamad

3a'6am allah arjik. If you need anything, I'm always here for you. :)


I put my phone down feeling really sad and I dunno my heart started hurting me, not emotionally, but physically. Two minutes later, my phone vibrates.

One new message.

From: Hamad

ajerna oo ajrich. Thanks, but I don't need anything right now. ana wayed mt'6ayeeg oo I liked to be left alone, so if I don't call for a while, it's cause I'm trying to get over it all. I'm sorry, my grandma was an important person to me.

Oh wow. Sweet. That message kinda broke my heart, for all the time we've been talking he's never mentioned his grandma. I don't get it, especially the part ina we're not gona talk for a while. I mean I wanna help him, why is he pushing me away? May that's the way he grieves. Is gona come to basketball tournament? wala la? I really wanted to message him and ask bas I know I couldn't do that. ugh, Whatever, allah m3ahom w ysahel 3aleehom inshallah.

I slept somehow, and woke up the next morning finding my eyes so puffy, Did I cry last night? I don't recall me crying, ugh did I cry myself to sleep? Oh jeez how sad is that. I started looking for my phone, I couldn't find it, got out of bed searching ila I found it at the other side of the room. What the hell, how did it get there? siighs.

I put my pass and see the I have a new message. Yay! It must be Hamad, I knew he needed me and couldn't resist.

One new message.

From: Fahad

9aba7 il5air! Call me awal matgoomen.

It was nice to see someone still was thinking of me. I went back to my bed and cuddled under my sheets and called fahad.

Fahad: 9aaabaaaa7 il5aair!

Me: 9aba7 ilnoor

Fahad: twich gayma?

Me: eeh

Fahad: baal mshallah 3alech, you slept kil hay?

Ugh, I wanted to tell him no I didn't, the stupid boy I liked message me with a heartbreaking message.

Me: eeh

Fahad: Inzain yallah goomi 9a797i

Me: ohho you reminded me I have to go to school in about 3 hours. Uffie, malii baree'6

Fahad: latroo7en 3ayal

Me: laa lazm, study group.

Fahad: baaaaal wain ayam we used to do that. Inzain ishrych you leave home now, oo ajeech ilmadresa we can hangout for a bit?

I didn't want to, I didn't want him to see my like this bas at the same time I wanted to see him, he always manages to cheer me up.

Me: Okay! Yallah I'll get ready and I'll see you in about an hour.

Fahad: That's my girl! oh 3ad, latitrseen wayhich make up, mabii at9arg3

Me: ha, ha, ha, sa5eef. I wasn't gona put anything in the first place. Yallah bye, baroo7 albees.

I hung up.

I open my cupboard, take my black leggings and found Haya's "Paris" Hoodie and wear it. Right, I need to give it back to her. Maybe next month, right now I need it :P

I look at the mirror, I don't need that much make up, some concelar, bronzer and mascara and my cherry leballo and I'm ready to go. My hair was a bit poofy since I just showered last night. However, it does look a bit like beachy, wavy, sure it's a bit out there bas whatever, I'll wear my hoodie on so it'll decrease the poofyness.

I call the driver to drive me to school.


Me: haa?

Fahad: ilnas maygolon haa. il2wadem ysalmoon lama yrdoon 3al telephone, moo haa

Me: ugh, ilmohim wainik?

Fahad: ana greeb, tabeen shay mnn ildkan?

Me: eeh, perrier oo salted cashew.

Fahad: I didn't think you'd actually want something, I was just being nice.

Me: uff 5ala9 mabii, mathala hy?

Fahad: are you sure matbeen?

Me: mhm, I'll call you when I arrive.

Fahad: byee.

I hung up.

I finally arrive at school, there was no car there, so I leave the car and tell the driver that'll call him, when I need him to pick me up.

To: Fahad



One new message.

From: Fahad

Look behind you.

I turn il I see a black range rover, supercharged sport oo ma5fi kil black. Just the way I like it. The car comes closer to me, ila I knock on the window.
As the window is going down, I see Fahad, hotness. I mean he needs to gain like 3 kgs, bas damn did he look good with the white polo shirt. oo m3a his light tan, I'm very impressed.

Me: Inzain roo7 9eef 3shan tnzel

Fahad: weeh, la get in the car and we'll just cruise around the area.

I really wanted to say no bas the range rover and the black leather inside told me I have to go in and so I did.

Fahad: hala o '3ala

Me: ahlaaain

Fahad: Someone looks realy good? soo tell me, how many layers of make up is that?

I hit his arms and they were firm, very firm.

Fahad: I guess I deserve that.

Me: You deserve everything I do to you.

Fahad: inzain, sh5barich?

Me: il7emdiallah b5air, int?

Fahad: dam inch ib5air ana b3ad ib5air.

Me: Inzain tell me, how have you been spending you time?

Fahad: well I can't seem to keep my mind off this girl I saw. She's just phenomenal.
Me: Really? I wanna know more bas ishryk I drive?

Fahad: ooh? b3ad you know how to drive?

Me: umm .. no. But you can teach me

Fahad: how am I suppose to teach you? Like a little baby sitting on my lap and I guide you the way?

Me: umm .. no, ew. I'm not a baby.

Fahad: Yes you are. If you wanna drive then were gona have squeeze into the driver seat lana I'm not gona let you drive alone.

The Girl xx

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Gonna Find Love Again (Part 17)

Thanks to everyone who's been commenting constantly. Sure it's only 4 people or less bas it means a lot anyways. Love you guys :*


One new message.

From: Fahad
You’ve got a lot of hot friends. How bout you hook me up with one of them? ;)

To: Fahad
Sho? Ana fat7a maktab 5adamat? Bil mara sameeni ili 5a6aba um mohammed or something.

From: Fahad
Haha, it’3areen? You want me all to yourself don’t ya?

To: Fahad
Umm .. it’s not that, it’s the fact that my friends are kinda way higher than your standards. So, no. \

From: Fahad
Sa5eefa -.-

To: Fahad
6al3a 3aleek :)

From: Fahad
Inzain so tell me what have you been up to? Any guys in your life?

Should I tell him about Hamad? I mean me and Hamad aren’t, anything official so why close all the doors. As someone once told me, don’t put your eggs all in one basket. Speaking of Hamad, where is he? I really started worrying; I didn’t know if I should call again. Bas I didn’t wanna seem needy and that I had nothing better to do, then think about him.

To: Fahad
No I have no one. My love has always been for you. :P

From: Fahad
What can I say; I have that effect on girls. They just can’t get over me.

To: Fahad
YOU WISH! I was just being nice :)
So gooli how was your freshmen year fee Switzerland?

From: Fahad
Wallah it’s been great. I’m having a great time lana ilshela kilha ihnak. It’s all good.
Btw when’s your graduation?

To: Fahad
Ohh zain! Glad to hear its great. 2 months. I can’t wait bas at the same time I’m kinda sad cause like ili basfeer oo madri shnoo. :/

From: Fahad
Am I invited to the grad?

To: Fahad
Well it depends does Fahad Flan Al-Flani have the time to come to my little graduation?

From: Fahad
Well, I have to check my schedule. I think I can squeeze you in.

To: Fahad
Ha.ha.ha Sa5aftik. I bet you have nothing to do :P

From: Fahad
True, what can one do in the little beautiful country of ours :P

To: Fahad
Lol! Inzain agool ana baroo7 anam. T3bana. Wayed.

From: Fahad
Okay. Kalati?
Oh sorry, knowing you, you probably had a meal for 3 people. :P

To: Fahad
Ugh. You’ll never grow up will you?
And yes, I ate :)

From: Fahad
You know I’m only kidding. Okay 5ala9 3ayal, noom il3awafi

To: Fahad
Yrdoon allah y3afeek? 9a7? I don’t remember :x

From: Fahad
Inti lain al7en mat3rfeen itrdeen nafs il2wadem? Yes I think that’s what they say. I’ve been in Switzerland. That’s my excuse. What’s yours? :P

To: Fahad
My excuse I already told you, 6al3a 3leek. So kil 3aib feek, feeni ana b3ad. I know, it sucks.

From: Fahad
Haha, inzain yallah go to sleep. Call me when you get up tomorrow.

To: Fahad
Okay honey, night.

I was ecstatic to have Fahad back in my life, and he’s grown so much mshallah. 6alee3 3ala uboh, his father is so handsome. He’s on the cover of all the business magazines, he was a big deal. Hamad’s father was an important guy in b7rain too. You see I’m a girl who falls for personality but I’m not gona lying to myself and to others like all the other girls, that personality does it all. It really doesn’t! 65% is all personality but the 30% would be divide 20% looks, 10% a decent car, 5% status. I know that’s bad, bas each percent makes the biggest different to me. Maybe that’s the reason why I never ever actually fell in love and committed fully, cause of all these percentages. I don’t know.
I feel my phone vibrating, I pick it up and I have a message.

One new message.

From: Hamad
Nelly, emsam7a ini makalmtich bas my grandma passed away 2 days ago and didn’t have the time to talk to anyone. Oo mt’6ayeeg wayed fa I’ll call you when I can.

The Girl xx

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Gonna Find Love Again (Part 16)

Fahad? Fahad Al-Flani? No! It couldn't be him. I mean last I heard from him was what ... six years!


Fahad what?


One new message.


Fahad Al-Flani.


Fahad Flan Al-Flani?


One new message.


Yes, the one and only! ;)

To: Fahad

Call me. :)




Fahad: baaal 9ema5 inshallah, ishfeech yanatii?

Me: Fahad! I can't believe its you. How the hell do you still remember my number? And I mean why call me now all of the sudden?

Fahad: Well I just came back from switzerland and for some reason you poped into my mind. So I thought I'd give you a call and scare you a little.

Me: Fahad moo bas you scared me! Uff! I was worried that people were giving away my number! Ilmohim how have you been! I've missed you! Have you grown? hotter? uglier? Tanner?

Fahad: hahaha, wow. Slow down with the questions. Choofi ana m3a ilshabab, I'll call you when I'm done.

Me: I'm going off to sleep now tho.

Fahad: Okay 5ala9 3ayal goodnight babe. Sweet dreams!

Me: night. byeeeee

I hung up.

Fahad? I can't believe it was Fahad. You see last time I saw Fahad was six years ago as you might have read before. We were kinda related you could say and he was the best I tell ya! Our last adventure was when we went with the whole fam to Dubai, siighs. Good times. We were so cute, we were inseperable, seriously chna married couple.
I'm still in shock! siighs.

Enough of Fahad, before going back to sleep, I thought I might as well call Hamad, his phone was closed which was very odd. So I called his house number to check, no answer. I dial his house phone again cause I really got worried! Finally, a women picks up.

Me: aloo?

Women: aloo? mno? *in a very sad tone*

Me: umm .. sorry r8am '3ala6.

I hung up.

I'm sure that was Hamad's mom bas he told me a few times, that no one answers his room phone other than him. I dunno. I was confused, worried, sad, happy, shocked. I felt so many things and I couldn't go back to sleep at all. So I stayed up and watched an old episode of Gossip Girl, since I had nothing better to do.

I felt like crying. I didn't know what to do. I know I was overreacting but I dunno water works started and I couldn't stop it. I miss Hamad. Okay, I kinda left a little detail about Hamad, once when we first talked there was a month in between where we full stopped talking. He promised he'd never do it again, but now I'm worried he's gona disappear on me again. Haya kept on telling me not to believe his crap but I dunno I really believed him.
Wow, I should stop thinking, I'm reading too much into it. I didn't talk to him for 2 days only, thats okay. He'll call tomorrow. He will I'm sure. right?

UGH, whatever. I didn't want him to disappear on me again. It hurt the first time so much, depending on someone so much and all of the sudden they don't call or txt or anything for a whole month. His excuse was oh I had exams. We all have exams but we make time for the ones we care about. I just thought maybe he couldn't have a distraction, thats we he called our relationship a distraction. I ignored it and never told anyone about it, cause I didn't know if it was a good thing or a bad thing.

Today was Friday and well really early on a friday but later tonight I was going out. I stayed at home enough this week and need to get out and look gorgeous and feel gorgeous. I wasn't gona let Hamad not calling thing get in the way of living my life. Yeah I know, I'm being a bit dramatic.

Haya told me were all going to xx resturant. I start to apply my make up, I really wanna look good today that everyone is gona be noticing, I wanna do something different. I start applying my make up and as soon as I'm done I wear a simple white see white blouse and black leggings and my favortie and highest heels. I take a look at myself in the mirror before heading to Haya's and Damn I must say I loved how I looked. :x

I arrive to Haya's place.


Haya: I'm ready as you can see. It's Jazi who's having a little problem with timing

Me: Jazzzi! Yallah 3ad!! uff laish chii!! kila late!

Jazi: I'm done! I just need to put some blusher, eyeliner, lip liner, glow and lipstick. That's it. Oh btw shklich wayeeed 7ilo!!

Me: Oh puhlease! I look 3adi.

Jazi: No you look really good. Just take the compliment.

Yeah I knew I looked good but I'm just too shy to take the compliment so I always try to be modest


Me: Hala o'3ala

Fahad: Ahlain feech

Me: sh5barik 7bebi?

Fahad: good good! what are you doing today?

Me: ana a7een with my friends baroo7 xx resturant

Fahad: ohh zain! have fun.

Haya: NELLY MNO ITKALMEEN? *shouting*

Me: ys2looni mno akleem 7bebi, shagoolhom?

Fahad: 7abebtich mn switzerland akeed.

Me: The boy on the phone told me to tell you guys I'm talking to 7bebii mn switzerland.

I whispered to Haya and Jazi "I'll tell you the deeds later!"

Me: Inzain fahad were running late. I'll talk to you later k? tonight maybe? ishryik itmeer 3ala xx resturant and we can both change sexy glances at each other? ;p

Fahad: Okay, why not. bye.

I hung up.

Jazi: Neelllz mno hay?

Me: get ready and I'll tell you all about him on the way! YALLAH! LETS GO!! *claps*

Yes adrii ana 7anana bas shaswii. :x

On our way to xx resturant I filled Haya and Jazi about all the deeds they needed to know. Yeah they got a bit upset I didn't mention him at all.

I was gona see Fahad today, six years have passed and I'm sure he's grown a lot. God please his height. Yeah he had a bit of a height issue back in the day. We sit at our usual place and order our usual dishes. As we're waiting I feel my phone vibrating

One new message.

From: Fahad

Someone's grown to look gorgeous. You have def. changed, I mean way better than the scary monster you were 6 years ago.

I blush like a little baby, and lift my head up and try to look for him, the thing is I didn't even remember how he looks like. It's been a LONG time.

One new message.

From: Fahad

Turn your head to the left, see the guy thats sooo white with polo shirt, yeah not me. Don't worry I don't look bo falla9. The tall dark handsome one, thats me.

To: Fahad

Your so full of yourself, your "bo falla9" friend is actually much hotter than you are.


I was lying to him, didn't want him to think he's all that, still had his cockiness bas damn did he look good. He wasn't dark skinned bas tanned a bit, thinner than usual and his hair was long bas very good quality hair. Seriously, he's got good hair.

Jazi: mno hal 7ilo, ili 3ndi ilbab ili m3a the very bo falla9 looking boy.

I laugh.

Me: That's Fahad.

The Girl xx

Monday, July 20, 2009

Gonna Find Love Again (Part 15)

I know, I changed my layout again. I changed it for one reason, cause people couldn't find my old posts. If you wanna read the old posts on the right side, there's a side bar oo there you'll find the archives. Sorry the post is kinda short :x.


Me: umm .. la! Mno m3ay? shklik im'3alee6

UNKNOWN: Nelly, I think I know you better than you know yourself. And your voice hasn't changed at all from the past six years.

Huh? six years? Six years ago I was in a different school. I didn't talk to a lot of guys tho. I really don't remember who this is. Damn it! Me and my memory, I only remember the useless stuff.

Me: Is this some kinda prank. Nawaf wallah ina if its you. I'll kill you and I won't talk to you EVER!

UNKNOWN: Mno Nawaf b3ad? I see someone's developing.

Me: I'm counting to 5, if you don't tell me who the hell you are. I'm hanging up.

UNKNOWN: Hang up, your loss.

Now I really wanted to know who the hell this was, I mean who would pull of a prank like this. I'm so intrigued to know who it is and ask. Bas if this was a prank whoever it is, is gona hold it against me till god knows when.

Me: No Honey, it's not my loss. Yours. Bye.

I hung up.

You see at that moment I thought that was such a stupid thing to do. But even if it wasn't a prank I didn't wanna seem desperate. I wanted to seem like I didn't care who that was, bas DAMN did I wanna know. I'll just wait for him to say something or message me again. I wanna call and demand him to call me again.

I was gona call Haya or Jazi to ask who this could be, bas there was no point I didn't have his number and I didn't know who he was or even had a small clue. ALSO they wouldn't know who it is cause 3ala golta I was with him 6 years ago, meaning I didn't even know them then. I'll just wait till something happens and then give the deeds to both.

I increase the volume of the radio.

Now Girl
I remember everything that you claimed
You said that you were moving on now (on now)
Maybe I should do the same (maybe I should do the same)
The funny thing about that is
I was ready to give you my name
Thought it was me and you baby (baby)
And now, it's all just a shame
That I guess I was wrong

Don't wanna think about it (no)
Don't wanna talk about it (hm)
I'm just so sick about it
I can't believe it's ending this way
Just so confused about it (uh)
Feeling the blues about it (yeah)
I just can't do without ya
Can you tell me is this fair

Is the way it's really going down?
Is this how we say goodbye?
Shoulda known better when you came around
That you were gonna make me cry
Now it's breaking my heart to watch you run around
Cause I know that you're living a lie
But that's ok, baby, cause in time you will find

What goes around, goes around, goes around, comes all the way back around.

I love Justin Timberlake. He's so hot. I wish guys were more like him sometimes.

I finally arrive home. It's pretty late so I hop into the shower and wear my pjays and go to sleep.
PS. I still didn't hear from Hamad.

I wake up like 3 am in the morning, knowing Jazi and Haya are both up cause they can't sleep apparently.

I call Haya.

Haya: Hmmm?

Me: inti mno itkalmen hal 7aza? jazi?

Haya: laa.

Me: 3ayal mno? It's not like you have a bf and I don't know about him. Oh sorry, you do, your hypothetical bf. How is he? :P

Haya: He's good. I gotta close, can't keep him waiting.

Me: Okay. I called you for a reason. I don't remember what tho.

Haya: When you do bbm me. AND DON'T PING ME!

Me: okay okay! Byee.

Haya: Byeee

I hung up.

I stared at my phone. NOTHING. Nothing from Hamad, Nawaf or the unknown one who claims to know me. I'm bored.

You know what, I'm gona go back to sleep. It's pointless staying up and having nothing to do. I put my headphones on and play Ashley Tisdale - "It's Alright, It's Ok" I love the song, a bit gay but good.

You played me
Betrayed me
Your love was nothing but a game
Portrait a role
You took control, I
I couldn't help but fall
So deep
But now I see things clear

It's Alright, OK
I'm so much better without you
I wont be sorry
Alright, Ok
So don't you bother what I do
No matter what you say
I wont return
Our bridge has burnt down
I'm stronger now
Alright , Ok
I'm so much better without you
I wont be sorry

Don't waist you fiction tears on me
Just save them for someone in need
It's Way to late
I'm closing the door

Just when I was about to close my eyes. My phone vibrates, oho who the hell would message me now? HAMAD! OBVIOUSLY!

One new message


Hey sexy. It's Fahad.

The Girl xx

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Gonna Find Love Again (Part 14)

Okay, so this post is kinda short but it's worth it. The next post will extra long ;p

Anyone get the amazing feeling when they've been looking for something and finally found it? Okay so I was looking for this lipstick I just bought today since god knows when and it was right infront of me the whole time. I love it and feel soo happy. I like it when people compliment me about my make up, cause honestly I do have the best make up. Point is, it took me ages and a lot of searching to find that lipstick and then when someone asks me what lipstick color I have on, I usually say what it is. But sometimes I don't want to, I mean why does it come easy for them and for me it took me a while. I don't mind my close friends asking cause what's mind is there's but random people mabi! And I won't, new rule :P. Enough me rambling about this lipstick bas I'm soooooo HAPPY!


I was gona get to the bottom of this childish drama. I get my bag and leave home cause I don't wanna be late for the gym.

I call Reem.

Me: hey

Reem: hala Nelly. sh5barich?

Me: I'm good n u?

Reem: find, just working m3a Sawsan on the english project

Me: Really? You actually working on that? sucks for you. Quick question and don't lie. Is sawsan with you right now?

Reem: laa she went to get food.

Me: I have a funny little question, did you tell Sawsan about Hamad? And don't lie to me for once tell me the truth.

Reem: Laaaa wallah I didn't.

Me: That's funny. Are you sure about that

Reem: ee wallah. Why would I lie to you?

Me: Who knows, these days you can't trust anyone. You sure that;s your final answer?

Reem: ee gltlich for the 5th time.

Me: Okay good 3ayal. I'll talk to you later. bye.

I hung up.

That liar she lied to me again. I can't believe her and her crap. Doesn't she know it'll eventually come to me? I mean how stupid can one be? UGH! Btchooof!

I call Haya and conference Jazi in

Me: Haya, Sawsan messaged me and told me she knew about Hamad and ina why didn't I trust her oo madrii shno. I KNEW THAT FUCKIN REEM TOLD HER. Hay 7araktha!

Jazi: uff itbee6 chbdi Reem gltlkoom ana asheek feeha bas ma7ad ysma3ni as usual.

Haya: I don't believe it, didn't think it was in her to be this childish.

Me: UGH whatever btchooof! wainikom?

Haya: ana twni 6al3a mn ilbait

As usual Haya has to be late. :P

Jazi: ana we9alt!

Me: weeh '3reeba Jazi!

Jazi: chub bas I'm not ALWAYS late!

Haya: yallah bye. I'm close.

Me: bye

Jazi: bye

Me: Jazi akani we9alt

Jazi: inzlii oo btchoofen

I hung up.

We got for Aerobics for beginners, since we kinda are.

After the class.


Me: uff Sawsan is calling oo reem m3aha. I don't wanna answer.

Haya: weeh just answer oo choofi what they want.

Me: Hala Sawsan. What's up?

Sawsan: la wala shay bas me and reem were wondering if you can come over my house and work on your english project.

Me: Oh sorry. I'm out oo I'm not gona work on my english project. I have free period tomorrow and can do it then.

Sawsan: Yallah 3ad it'll be fun.

Me: laa I can't today. Look I gotta go, I'll talk to you later.

Sawsan: Okaaay! 3ad call us later! and if you change your mind, let me know.

Me: I won't bas thanks anyways. Bye

Sawsan: Bye.

I hung up.

Jazi: ishyaboon?

Me: Yabooni to come over to work on the english project

Jazi: weeeh fa'6yeen.

We all go our separate ways, during the drive home I stare at my phone and no call or message from Hamad. That's odd. Ugh it's okay, were not official anything so he's not obliged to call me at all.


Me: alooo?


OH GOD! His voice y'thba7! Who the hell is this?

Me: mno m3ay?

UNKNOWN: Nelly m3ay?

The Girl xx

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Gonna Find Love Again (Part 13)

"We never know what's wrong without the pain. Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same." The Fray.

The Fray are one of the few great groups who come up with great songs!
This post is long baby, real long. I hope you guys enjoy it. And your feedback means the world to me. Thanks for everyone who's been giving it and hopefully there will be more


I love him, too much. Why I don’t know, I know a lot of people would disapprove of him. But every conversation with him made me want so badly. You see I have this bad habit, it’s a habit that girls usually don’t have just guys. But apparently I have the honors of having it, I’m like an animal, hunger and when I want something I want it and I have needs that need to be satisfied. Sometimes I can’t control myself, if I don’t get dose of Hamad when I needed it, I find another way to satisfy myself, like casually flirt with friends. Or the best solution was talk to a close friend of mine called 3bdullah. I love 3bduallah and hate him. Depends. It’s a love and hate relationship. I know Haya and Jazi HATE HIM. I mean I kinda hate him sometimes bas I need a friend like him a GUY who’s cocky and so masculine. I swear I’ve never opened up to any guy as much as I opened up to 3bdallah and when I say I opened up, I mean to the extent I would discuss on how horny and I need a guy. Yeah I’m a bit too open with him. What can I say, its good therapy. Really. I love guys really LOVE THEM.

Okay back to my call with Hamad. Fdaita

Hamad: Lets skype.
Me: Why would we skype? I mean were talking right now.
Hamad: laa video too.
Me: la, I look like shit.
Hamad: I bet you don’t.
Me: I really do,
Hamad: Yallah baby 3shan
Me: FINE! Give me 5

I hung up.

What now? He wants to see me, Shit, I just noticed this would be the first time for him to see me. I thought I saw him and he saw him before, ugh that was the stupid damn dream. Ahhh! What am I gona do? Okay my hair looks good actually, wavy and glossy. I wear a V neck blouse, I always like to show a little skin in that area. Not cause of him, but if you ask anyone I know, I always show skin in that area. And most of the time I’m not doing it on purpose and notice a guys eyes there so cover it up. Or usually Haya would do the honors.
Thank god, I still have make up mnn the morning. See no one gets it when I leave my make up until before I sleep, well see now it came in handy. I just need a bit of my favorite cherry leballo and I’m ready to go.

I open Skype.


Me: I’m gona skype with Hamad now
Jazi: You talk to him on the phone and everything, why you telling me your skyping with him like it’s the first time your gona talk to him. Honey were passed that.
Me: UGH, If you wait for me to finish then maybe you would get why it’s different. Video this time
Jazi: btsween video call m3ah? No way!
Me: Oh now your interested? Yes. Inzain baklmich b3dain.
Jazi: laish? Oh yes yes ditch me for Hamad
Me: Love you, see you in school

I hung up.


Okay I’m ready; I open the iphoto thingy and look at how my image would appear to him. Hmm, I could look better but whatever. I try to find a better place for me with better lights, that takes about another 5 mins. Finally, I’m ready. I log in and find him there, should I call or should I let him call? UGH, I think were passed that he should call me first thing, I mean that’s so 10th grade. I call him and wait impatiently. Finally.

Hamad: aloo?
Me: hala, Hay Hamad?
Hamad: tsthblain?
Me: aloo? Alooo? Heellloo? I can’t seem to hear you? Alloo?
Hamad: Nelly adri inch tstm3eeni oo bas it7been itsween hal 7araka

A55. Astanses when he knows these little things about me. And you know what’s also so great about him sometimes I’d talk about something and he’d be like yeah I remember when we first talked you told me that oo madri shno. Oo ana I’d be like wow mshallah you remember? He was like yeah ana mo nafsich I forget everything. And then he’d always ask me when his birthday was, I mean it took me ages to remember when it was, I always tend to forget.

Me: Hamad?
Hamad: fdait hal 9oot, I love it when you say my name
Me: really? Well in that case, Hamad, Hamad, Hamad, Hamad, Hamad, Hamad, HAAAAMMMMAAAD!
Hamad: hahaha, 5ala9 bas bas!

I giggle like a little girl who’s been caught doing something wrong. I know how much he loves that, cause he just stays quiet and listen to me. Sometimes I’d randomly laugh like for 5 minutes straight, to the extent he’d start laughing at me. Always gets his mood, sometimes I do it cause I know he’s down and needs a bit of laugh.

Me: Inzain so are we done here?
Hamad: ift7i your web cam
Me: la
Hamad: 3ayal laish a7na on skype?
Me: bas chii .. asthbel m3ak. Open yours first
Hamad: yours first
Me: la yours
Hamad: laa inti awal
He starts laughing.
Hamad: laa at you. Maynona
Hamad: You’re my maynona

I stay quiet, my face turns redish. He’s so cute, abeeh 5ala9. I want him. I want him as my husband, I want our wedding. I want our kids. Damn, we’d have gorgeous kids seriously. Our genes together are sensational. I bet the process would be even more sensational and hot and everything. I want our honeymoon, where’d we go? Bahamas! Alaska and New York for a little shopping. I know how much he loves the places I had in mind, it wouldn’t be his first visit to the Bahamas, thanks to my stalking on facebook. We’d get a tan in the Bahamas and then go to Alaska for the cold weather and hot coco, and in New York we’d look all burnt and hot. Damn I want that so badly! I wanna laying in bed with us snuggling. I know he could give me everything but the thing is I don’t know if it’ll actually happen. I mean our relationship till now is an unknown, were not Boyfriend/Girlfriend and were not just friends. Were like friends with benefits but with a little feeling, who am I kidding? A lot of feeling, well from my side anyways. Shit, I forgot about Hamad and I’m having this conversation in my head.

Me: Hamad yallah open your web cam and lets get this over with, I’m bored.
Hamad: Inzain, madri shno warach il9ara7a
Me: int, waray holding me tightly and your face 3nd my neck and your just holding me.
Hamad: Well in that case, yallah lets finish ibser3a
Me: hahaha
When he opened his wedcam, I saw this tanned boy and him mtrabee3 with his boxers. Damn, boxers turn me on like crazy. And his golden legs, gorgeous! Gorgeous I tell ya!
Me: Y3ni g3dli m3a your boxers laish? Couldn’t put something decent on
Hamad: It’s just you, 3adi

Yeah, then he gives me a comment like that which is obvious he’s so comfortable with me like a friend. But you know what I liked what we had, I hate labels, I liked it being a mystery and all. The thing is once I solve the mystery with labels and all, I kinda get bored. I know that’s bad, but I mean what can I do? I just can’t seem to find that guy who always makes me coming back for more


What? Nawaf? Great timing, isn’t it?

Me: dgeega Hamad, Nawaf is calling

Hamad still can hear me, I didn’t have the time to put on hold cause I know Nawaf bsaker ibser3a oo I’m not bothered to call him.

I answer.

Me: ha?
Nawaf: ha? 7ad yreeb ygool ha? Ilnas ygoolon ilsalam 3lekom
Me: Ilsalam 3lekom Nawaf! Sha5barik? Sha5bark il3yal? Sh5bar il mara?
Nawaf: hahahha funny. *in a sarcastic tone*
Me: inzian whats up?
Nawaf: laa mafi shay bas mn zeman makalmtich fa I called to see how you were
Me: oh oh oh! Nawaf? That’s a shocker. I’m so flattered you have the time for me and not only your bo falla9 friends.

You see I liked Nawaf, I mean really liked him. I told him I liked him too. You know what he said? I just got out of a relationship and I just see you as friends. You know what happened after that? Barely talks to me, ignores me, very cold. I don’t get it, I was soo pissed at him. I still like him bas y3ni I had to keep it to myself for the sake of out friendships. I mean he was like my best guy friend. I loved him. It took a while for our friendship to pass the little incident. Actually he had to get over it, I was normal, very normal. Thank god it’s over tho.

Nawaf: yeah, sorry about that.
Me: Whatever I moved on. Y3ni you couldn’t handle it, what can one do?
Nawaf: oh come on I forgot about it, 5ala9 were passed it.
Me: okay. Look my mom needs me bas I’ll call you as soon as I’m done. K?
Nawaf: Okay. Bye

I hung up.

Me: Hamad?
Hamad: Listen to this

Do you hear me,
I’m talking to you
Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky, oh my, baby I’m trying
Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard
I’m lucky, I’m in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh
They don’t know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we have one more kiss
I’ll wait for you I promise you, I will.

Hamad: I’ll wait for you, 2, 3 years. Whatever it takes
At that moment I didn’t get what he meant. I just didn’t know what to think, see he says this stuff and expects me to get exactly what he means. Sighs. I’ll just call Mona later and ask her what it means.
Me: Inzain Hamad I gotta go, it’s like 5 pm and I need to read some material for school and I’m kinda behind as it is. Oo baroo7 ilgym ma3a Haya oo Jazi
Hamad: Okay 5ala9, take care of yourself okay?
Me: eeh okay. Byeeeeeeee
Hamad: bye.

I HATE IT WHEN HE TELLS ME TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF! I don’t get it, he makes it seem like we won’t be talking or like months or something. Whatever. I’m calling Mona and asking her what the hell this boy means.

Me: Mona? Hamad ygooli ina he’ll wait for me, whatever it takes. WHAT DOES HE MEAN?
Mona: Nelly! I thought you ended with him! I mean you know in the end you’ll never actually marry him. Your family won’t allow it! I mean you’re just gona get hurt!

Mona was one of my closest cousins back in the day, due to certain events. We’re not so close.

Me: Mona! Don’t tell me this I’m gona get hurt crap! I get it! Bas it’s not fair everyone is loving oo ana g3ed chii sambala. Mayseer chi! I need my dose of love and hurt and all. I’m the one that’s gona get hurt not you. So just help me with this now and get it over with. Plus technically were just friends
Mona: Fine kafich. I don’t know what he means, y3ni its obvious he wants you and will wait for you.

I hate it when she used to make me feel bad. I mean what the hell? It’s my life, my decisions and sure help me get to the right track but don’t make me feel bad for my descisions.

Me: uffiie! 5ala9 look ana I have shit of reading. I’ll talk to you later
Mona: ee okay yallah bye. Nellyo, abii arweech fstan I wanna buy later. I wanna know what you think.
Me: ee okay inshallah. Later tho. Yallah bye
Mona: Byee

I hung up.

Uff after every convo, she always has to make me feel bad. I hate it. Why did I call her inzain? That’s I won’t call for advice anymore. Whatever.

I wore my gym clothes cause I didn’t wanna be late to the gym. I wore my favorite green 3-quarter pants and a black sleeveless shirt and my black and white comic hoodie.

One new message.

From: Sawsan

You know Nelly you can always come to me if you need anything. I’m always here for you. I’m sorry for the way I made you feel. I didn’t mean to upset you. I was just surprised when Reem told me about this b7raini guy you talk to and he’s married. I couldn’t believe you kept something like that away from me. I just again wanna let you know I’m always here for you if you need anything.

That bitch Reem.

The Girl xx

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Gonna Find Love Again (Part 12)

I was real upset at that moment, you could see my face feeling disappointment and betrayal and being ambushed with questions.
I can feel Haya approaching and as she got close and acted like there was an emergency.

Haya: Nellz, t3ali m3ay I need to talk to you!

Me: umm .. is everything okay?

Me acting all stupid.

Sawsan + Reem: ishfeech Haya?

As usual m3a legafthom.

Haya: laa wala shay, bas something 3an Nawaf

Me: I'll see you guys later

So I go with Haya and let me tell you I loved her for saving me, she was truly and still is the best friend anyone can ask for. :*

I start crying and she hugs me and tells me to calm down.

We watched the latest episode of Gossip Girl and it was a very dramatic and good episode that reminded me that my problems were nothing. Also I still had Hamad, that's the only tragedy that would break me in every way.

I want you to know I hated lying, bas with people like Reem and Sawsan, you were forced too, since they can't keep their noses in their business.

I went home and called Hamad, he didn't answer, which kinda made me feel sad. I really needed a dose of Hamad before I sleep. I need to know that every-things okay, he always made me feel calm and nothing in the world can harm me. He had that gift to him.

I just laid in bed thinking about what happened today and to think I can trust Reem, what was I thinking?
Before I could finish my thoughts

Me Phone was vibrating.


Me: Heeeeellloooo!

Hamad: hala wallah ,, someone's in a happy mood

Me: Trust me, I'm trying to act all happy bas ugh bitch reem made some more drama today

Hamad: b3ad? mara thanya itha az3jtich 7a6eeni 3ala web cam oo ana I'll deal with her

Me: Awww, thats so sweet of you. Bas no

Hamad: You know, when meme first told me about you and then I got to know you and all, I'm surprised you guys were every friends. I mean you have nothing in common

Me: hahaha, I wouldn't have agreed with that back then. Bas your right. Don't know what I saw in that bitch. Bas I always thought you guys were close

Hamad: laa we never were, You know if she did anything right or good in this life time, it would be her introducing me to you.

Me: Really?

Hamad: yess really!

Me: Your SO cuutte!

The Girl xx

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Gonna Find Love Again (Part 11)

It took me a while to write this post down cause I hate going back to drama and memories that are meant to be forgotten but whatever I'll write it anyways.
I finished IT class and went to PE as usual, ila I see Reem running towards me.

Reem: Nelly! Nelly!

Me: haa? ishfeech? I was just looking for you

That was a lie! I was hiding from her actually. It's not cause I'm scared, I just hate dealing with people like her and tend to just ignore.

Reem: So, when was the last time you talked to Hamad?

Me: like 2 weeks ago

That was another lie. I was talking to him just yesterday.

Me: So is this why you REALLY need to talk to me? Cause if it is, its not REALLY important

Reem: Nelly, don't lie to me, I know your talking to him and meme told me to.

I was trying to act calm, I didn't wanna get angry over something like this.

Me: I told you, I'm not. Meme told me what she has to say and I did it. So if you don't believe me then tough cause its the last of my worries

Reem: ugh, whatever

Me: Don't whatever me, I'm the one that's not suppose to talk to him, I have to stay away from him when I really like him so don't make it seem like your the one with problems. Your just getting to some business that has nothing to do with you! I'm the one suffering not you! So don't make this about you. It's about me and only. And I'll deal with it the way I want to, not you or meme will make the damn decision for me. UFF!

Reem: OK. *bitchy smile*

You see at that time she was suppose to be my close friend, thank god that's over. WAS THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME.
I wanted to cry, so badly. I couldn't handle it.

I got dressed for PE and went to the gym and waited for our instructor cause we had to pick what activity we'd for the upcoming month.
I usually would go for yoga, cause I don't feel like moving but I picked basketball since I love it and wanted a change. Also I knew reem wouldn't pick it but GUESS WHAT? She picked basketball.
Whatever. Basketball was a blast, we'd play with the guys can you imagine? Seriously they were huge, and push you here and there but it was a blast, I looked forward for every lesson.

The end of the day was approaching and I just wanted to go home.

But it was wednesday and we usually would stay after school and watch the episode of the week for Gossip Girl, I didn't wanna miss on that, cause the gang that would do that did not include Reem OR Hessa. Thank god!

However on my way to the movie room, Sawsan and Reem approach me. God what now?? I mean I had nothing against Sawsan bas UGH REEM! Uff anyways they were chatting with me, until Sawsan said

Sawsan: I hear your international Nelly

Me: huh? What are you saying?


Sawsan: I just mean International with guys

Me: Ishd5al

OMG! OMG! Reem told Sawsan? How could she, that was in the past 5ala9, its none of her fucking business to tell anyone

I text Haya.

To: Haya



At that age, and the way I felt I couldn't handle what was going on.

The Girl xx

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Gonna Find Love Again (Part 10)

As I was walking down the stairs, I felt my whole body started sweating and shaking all by itself. And I fell half way through the stairs. A few seconds later I hear my maid saying.

Maid: Nelly! Wake up! You will be late to school! Look your sister she finished

I slowly opened my eyes.

Nelly: hmmm .. okay.

What the hell happened? After that little body shaking of mine, I looked at mobile and it was three days earlier than the incident itself. Did I live my future before it actually happening? OBVIOUSLY NOT! IT WAS JUST ANOTHER DREAM!

I can't believe that was just a dream, it felt so real! I'm really starting to lose it.

I woke up and picked out something to wear for school, and ran outta the house so I wouldn't be late again. I wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone in the car so I put connect my IPOD with IPOD FM thingy and pick out Amy Winehouse - Back To Black

He left no time to regret
Kept his dick wet
With his same old safe bet
Me and my head high
And my tears dry
Get on without my guy
You went back to what you knew
So far removed from all that we went through
And I tread a troubled track
My odds are stacked
I'll go back to black

We only said good-bye with words
I died a hundred times
You go back to her
And I go back to.....

I go back to us

I love you much
It's not enough
You love blow and I love puff
And life is like a pipe
And I'm a tiny penny rolling up the walls inside

I finally arrived at school, saw Nawaf and tried to catch up with him.

Me: Nawwwaaf!

Nawaf: heeey

Me: How are you?

Nawaf: Good ,, t3baaaann

Me: Uff! Tell me about it. I wish I was a guy, ma3ndi girl drama oo hay swalef, UGH!

Nawaf: ishfeech inzain?

Me: I have to deal with Reem and her unstoppable drama and how she needs to get into people's business uff!

Nawaf: ishsawat a7een? Baroo7 ahwesha

Me: It's okay pretty boy, I don't wanna make this bigger than it already is

I always say pretty boy to nawaf its something between me and him, were both OTH fanatics and Lucas always tells the girls he's in love with pretty girl and it's kinda funny. I know you may not see the humor in it, but it was funny.

I went to my homeroom and thank god reem wasn't there yet. Saw Najla there and I went to sit at our table.

Najla: Weeh Nelly .. ishfeeh wayhich chii chna 7ad forced you to get out of bed!

Me: hahaha, cause awalan I wasn't bothered to put make up and I had a damn good dream and thought it was real, really and I wake up in surprise thinking I'm crazy

Najla: hahahaha, we all get dreams that make us go crazy from time to time.

I put my head down and closed my eyes for a bit. I felt like I had a hung over, the thing is I wouldn't know how that feels cause I never had a drink in my life. Just assumed that it would feel something close to this.

Jazi: Mr. B, I'M HERE!! I'M NOT LATE. And Reem called me and said she's on her way

Najla: Jazi, he's not here.

Jazi: Oh Thank god! I didn't need another late on my attendance sheet.

Thank god, that my first lesson was IT and Reem had Art so I can avoid her for a lesson and talk to her later.

I go to my first class and sit at my usual seat that Nawaf always likes to take if I'm not there.

Me: Hi sir

Mr. Matty: Hey Nelly, and how are you today?

Me: great, u?

Mr. Matty: I'm fine thank you.

I sit waiting for everyone to arrive to class.

Khaled comes in and opens his mac and just gets into whatever show he was watching last.

Khaled: hala Nelly

Me: Khaled, Haya jat registration?

Khaled: ee,

Me: oh okay

One new message.

From: Reem

I need to talk to you now asap. Can you leave class and come toilet in the art area?

UF! Ishtabii hathi!

To: Reem

I can't, were doing an important practice test and I'm behind as it is. I think it can wait a lesson.


The Girl xx

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Gonna Find Love Again (Part 9)

Oh god! His scent was gona make me get an orgasm, it was one my favorite guy perfume, Ambre by Baldessarin. It hypnotize's me, the smell would make me have sex with him right there, right now. I need to get a hold of myself. I’m around guys all the time, why is he any different. I shouldn’t show him how much affect he as on me.

I take a bottle of cold water from the refrigerator, need to cool myself down. I was too hot; every inch of my body was getting sparks. I need to get myself together and go in with all the confidence of the world. I started making my way to the TV room and there he was, sitting and watching basketball on the TV. He seemed so comfortable, I wanted to cry, I want him to hold me, I need him.

Me: So, I see someone’s getting comfortable?

Hamad: hahaha . Shaswi b3ad. You ran out of here like I was some kind of serial killer trying to assault you or something.

Me: Oh look who’s been watching criminal minds so much

Hamad: You got me hooked, everything you suggest to me I get hooked on. Just like how hooked I am to you.

I smiled and bit my lips, as usual.

Me: Honey, me too. I don’t know how I’m gona feel when you go back to b7rain.
I went to sit next to him and frowned. I really was sad, I couldn’t bare the idea of him leaving me.

Hamad: Baby don’t frown, I wanna see that beautiful smile of yours and I just got here, why you talking about the future that is a week away.

He touched my face, with his big, strong, muscular hands and started rubbing his hands against my cheeks. I closed my eyes cause having his hands on my face, was a breathtaking feeling touching me like that. I’ve never let someone get so close to me like him. I bit my lips; he slowly moved his hands next to my lips relaxing them.

I feel a warm breath close to my lips and something touching my nose. I open my eyes, I see these mesmerizing brown puppy eyes, with beautiful eye lashes. So long and thick. I felt so close to him at this moment, his nose was touching mine and I felt the warmth of him so close to me.

My hands started taking action on their own, they slowly moved from his thighs and upwards. I could see that he liked me slowly rubbing his thighs. His eyes closed and I could feel him.

Me: Uhh, let stay like this for a bit.

Hamad: Hmmm ..

I could feel something moving in my body, I was so tingly, I couldn’t stay still. He slowly moved his lips down and they weren’t touching me at all, he was blowing his way down and slowly moved closer to my neck and kissed it.
Me: Uhhh.

He started drifting away, I inhaled his scent and damn I could feel something coming. I opened my eyes and saw that big smile on his face. I got close to him and gave him a big kiss on his cheek. He deserved it.

Okay I get it maybe what he did doesn’t seem like much. But at the age of 18 and me being a good girl that meant a lot.

Hamad: I can breathe you in all day. Your scent is killing me

Me: ismeela 3aleek Hamad,

Loud music started jamming from my older brother’s room. It was Britney spear’s- If you seek Amy

Oh, oh, tell me have you seen her? Because I’m so oh
I can’t get her off my brain
I just want to go to the party she gonna go
Can somebody take me home?
Ha ha, he he, ha ha, ho
Love me hate me, say what you want about me
But all of the boys and all of the girls are begging to If You Seek Amy
Love me hate me, but can’t you see what I see?
All of the boys and all of the girls are begging to If You Seek Amy
Love me hate me

Really? Out of all the songs in the world this one randomly comes up. I knew no one was home, so I don’t know how the hell did the music start.
Me: dgeega, let me go check what’s up with the random music

Hamad: Good song for the moment ha?

Me: NO!

And we both burst out laughing. I rushed upstairs to see how the music started. Came up with the conclusion that my idiotic brother forgot to close it. Sighs. I turned off the electricity in his room, took a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Is it just me or am I glowing? I know that the makeup had nothing to do with it, cause I put it on everyday never gave me this result. I smile to myself, I know what’s different this time, it’s him. This is how he makes me feel.

I took a peak from upstairs at him and saw him looking back at me. He knew exactly what I was thinking and I love that about us. Sometimes just looking at each other you know how the other is feeling. Silence is gold. I made my way slowly to the TV room.

The Girl xx

Friday, July 10, 2009

Gonna Find Love Again (Part 8)

You guys there's something wrong with blogspot, if you can't find certain posts just keep refreshing. :)

One new message

From: Hamad

Where you?

To: Hamad

Waiting for you baby.


One new message

From: Hamad

I'll be there in 20 minutes.

SHIT. SHIT. SHIT. What am I suppose to wear? You know I'll just wear my 3 quarter white pants and the basketball shirt. I don't want him to think I actually put an effort to dress for him and change later for the basketball tournament, were gona go together so I don't wanna waste time.

I got into the shower and used my favorite dove shower gel called cream oil, it smells sensational. As soon as I finished showering I ran out of the toilet and my room was freezing. GREAT. I'm gona be sick, again. I wore my sexy bra and undies. Sure I have no one to show them too, but I believe for me to feel extra sexy why not wear something that shows that.

I wore what I picked out and looked at myself in the mirror, definitely need some make up. I put on my tan Lancaster illuminator and use my stila bronzer to give my face a nice glow. SHOT! Forgot the concelar and some liquid eye linear on the eyelid of my eye. Some dramatic mascara is a MUST! Lastly, dabbed my maroon Chanel lipstick. There, I think I look good.I tied my hair into a loose pony tail.

One new message

From: Hamad

I'm here ,, let me in.

I take a last look at myself in the mirror spray some vanilla perfume on myself. I read in a magazine once, the smell that really attracts a guy is Vanilla. I was gona take another look at myself in the mirror, but I didn't, I'd probably find something wrong. I ran down and as I'm close to the door I wasn't gona be pessimistic and ask myself what am I doing? It's here. It's done.

I open the door.
My eyes were on the floor, and as I slowly brought them up and let me tell you it took a while since he was so tall. I saw that beautiful smile on his face that made me love him even more.

Ps. I always say I love him but we didn't say it at all. These days' people use these 3 words, 8 letters so easily. It's meant for you to use when you realized through TIME that you can't find anyone like him.
I know I couldn't find anyone better than him, but I didn't wanna say something that I'm sure I'll regret.

I smiled by at him, I didn't know if I should hug him or shake hands, so instead I just moved outta the way so he could come in.
I kept biting my lips smiling like a maniac and he noticed. You see that's the great thing about long distance relationship, he doesn't get to see your reactions.

I was gona have a heart attack right there at that moment, his smile was just mesmerizing. Damn it, I'm actually falling hard for him. Why did I get myself into this mess? DAMN IT. Okay I gotta stop talking to myself and actually say something.

Me: umm .. ahlain *Smiles like a crazy person*

He looks down and smiles again.

Hamad: Hala feech, ishfeech chna 7ad 7a6eech 3ala mute

OH YIPPIE. Now he thinks I'm crazy and I don't know what to say, I couldn't even look at him, he kept trying to catch my eye but I was too shy.

Hamad: Look at me! Nelly look at me, don't worry I won't eat you

I pull my head up and look at him and damn his pupils were a perfect shade of dark brown, his shaved hair grew and it looks somewhat good, I looked down till I got to his lips. DAMN. His lips were full, not to full like they were botoxed but pouty. Not so pouty that he looks like he's posing. He was just perfect.I was I gona faint. I kissed my lips with my hands and then moved my hands to his lips. He kissed all five fingers slowly and softly. His lips were so soft.

Hamad: What was that for?

Me: I dunno, just felt like it.

Hamad: You know I never thought you'd look this stunning and smell amazing.

Told ya, that Vanilla spray does wonders!

Me: Well, okay, umm .. Thanks.

I couldn't believe that this day finally came that we were in the same room, and everyone thought it wouldn't last. I couldn't stop looking at his eyes and he couldn't take his eyes off me.

Me: SO, do you want water? yeah! OKAY! ME TOO! I'll go get it.

Hamad: I don't want ...

But he realized I ran out so fast from room that I wouldn't be able to hear him.

The Girl xx

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Gonna Find Love Again (Part 7)

Hamad: Then why won’t you? I need you. You’re a need not a want!

Me: Don’t say that, you’re just making me fall for you harder! I mean what if we end things or we cant end up together.

Hamad: Honey, I’ll wait for you for as long as I have to, I don’t think I can find anyone like you. Tell me something, what do you want in your husband?

Me: Look, I want my husband to my best friend but at the same time my lover. I believe that a relationship will be strong if the bases of the relationship started slowly with friendship and eventually grew into love. I want to be silly with him, go to Disney land and play like 10 year olds. I want him to make funny of me and joke around. Vice versa.

Hamad: mshallah you read my mind. That’s what I’m looking for too.

I wanted to end up with him and marry him, I mean he was from a great family and he was smart always helped me with work, since some of our classes were the same. It was nice to have someone far and not watching my every move. I mean my friends found it weird how he doesn’t call every day. If he did I’d get bored of him really fast and our conversations won’t be as long and meaningful.
Damn I can’t believe that in three days, I’ll be able to see him and he’ll see me for the first time. I didn’t want anyone to know that I was going to meet him, I was scared that I would be judged and called a slut.

Hamad: alo? Nelly wain r7ti?
Me: Sorry I’m here. I was just thinking that in three days bachfooik
Hamad: I know, finally that day is close.
Me: But honey, our team here are gona kick your ass!
Hamad: I don’t think so. We’ll see how things end up.
Me: Wanna bet that we’ll win? And if we do then I’ll think of something as my prize. What do you want from me if you guys win?
Hamad: hmmm … you know what!
Me: Oh no, I don’t
I lied. I do know what he wants, but I wanted him to say it.
Hamad: I want a kiss from you.
Me: Laish?
Hamad: I just wanna feel your lips on mine.
Me: Honey, you know I’ve never kissed a guy and I’ve never had someone like you. So I don’t know how you except to get a kiss from me.
Hamad: oo ana shnoo chyftna ga6 my lips kil mokan. Ana nafsich. Nafs il 7al bas I want you to be my first.

Obeh! This guy is just too cute! He was so innocent, hot, sexy, funny, and smart. What more does a girl want? And what I loved about our relationship is that I always wanted to go back for me because I never got bored of him. I’d stay up all night just to talk to him, however sometimes it was hard not having to see him every day.

Me: y7lelah ilyoum Nawaf helped with my computer paper, such a sweetheart I love him.
Hamad: Oh
Me: ishfeek?
Hamad: laa wala shay bas it seems you like this Nawaf more than friends and you spend a lot of time with him,
Me: Well honey, he’s my best friend and he’s my partner in crime. Sure I had a crush on him for a while but it was puppy love and I got over it.
Hamad: You’re so cute sometimes.

Btw I love bringing up Nawaf in our conversation cause Hamad always gets jealous and thinks I have feelings for Nawaf. I actually do have feelings for Nawaf and Hamad. Nawaf is like Hamad but Hamad was a hotter and more suitable for me. I couldn’t tell Hamad that I did have feelings for Nawaf cause that would make life more stressful. I kept my feelings about Nawaf to myself. I didn’t even tell my friends because I was too embarrassed.

Me: Oh my god! I have to make you listen to this song, my friend told me about it and I know you’d love it.
Hamad: Yallah okay
Me: haa? You listening?
Hamad: ee I am! Yallah play it.

Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you’re free
Look into your heart and you’ll find love love love love
Listen to the music of the moment baby sing with me
I love peace for melody
And it’s our God-forsaken right to be loved love loved love loved
So I won’t hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I’m sure
There’s no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I’m yours
Scooch on over closer dear
And I will nibble your ear

Me: haa? You like it?
Hamad: Yeah I know the song, it’s pretty old! But I love it more now cause it’ll remind me of you.

I giggle. Why do I act like a kid sometimes? I mean I’m surrounded by guys everyday and I’m not shy at all. But with him, I get tongue tied.

Me: Inzain I better go to sleep. Ta3bana wayed
Hamad: Okay 5ala9, I better go to sleep too.

Call Waiting.


Me: Okay bye and sweet dreams
Hamad: You too. Take care and I’ll talk to you soon.

I hate it when he says take care and I’ll talk to you soon, like we have to be that formal with each other.


I’m so not bothered for her. So I didn’t answer, I decided I’ll talk to her tomorrow in school and see what’s her deal. I’m sure meme told her to talk to me. DRAMA.

The Girl xx

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Gonna Find Love Again (Part 6)

Sorry that I haven't post in a few days but I'm really sick! Hope you guys enjoy Part 6! :)

I did great in my english project, my teacher said I'm great at orals and I agree.
That didn't matter at that moment, I felt guilty, how could I talk to a guy who already has a girl. All the girls noticed that I wasn't as hyper as I usually am.
I just said I didn't get any sleep, I stared at my phone at lunch and I started listening to my IPOD and one of my fav song started jamming, Akon - Troublemaker.

You're not for sure
Even though I wanna take you everywhere I go
Because of you, all the girls is staring, taking notes
And I realize being with you girls brings more girls
And that's just what I'm attracted to

And I'd rather go all the way
Love her long time till the break of day
I won't let her leave my bed
Till she sees the Color Purple like Annie Mae

Now she wants to start holding on me
Like whatever she's smoking on
I'll be long gone before you can say
Look at me now

I couldn't wait, I just paced to my car and went home.

I got into bed without having a bit to eat, I was exhausted! I didn't get any sleep last night.

Hours later, my bed starts vibrating.


Me: aloo?

Hamad: ahlain

UGH! I hate his hot sexy voice. I couldn't take it!
Forgot to mention I had a bad cold and my voice was disappearing, and I find it hot when my voice is like that, it's all rough but in girly way.

Hamad: ishbalah 9ootich? Are you okay?

Me: I'm okay, my voice is just going, nothing serious

Hamad: Well its sexy.

Why did he need to say that? I mean how can I believe what people say, when this guy has been nothing but one of the best things that happened in my life.

Me: Okay, look I gotta ask you a question and you better be honest! I don't care what's the answer bas I'll respect you if you tell me the truth and let me go.

Hamad: Let you go? Why? What did I do now?

Me: I gotta phone call the other day, and someone told me your engaged to this girl named Noof? And you've had a thing for her since like ever .. apparently

Hamad: Nelly, inti tsm3een shtgoolen?

Me: ana shaswi, its not like I asked these people to come tell me these things!

Hamad: Inzain why do you believe them?

Me: I don't! I just wanna make sure its not true.

Hamad: No No! Its true! Let all these people decide what I do with my life! Its not enough ina my father is barely letting me make decision for my education. These people are saying I'm getting engaged! Yeah I am, since their they people who keep making these descisions for me.

Me: You are your sarcasm! I'm serious Hamad!! If you have someone, its fine I don't care, I just don't wanna be the girl who got fooled.

Hamad: I told you I'd never make you feel like that. And I told you I'm not that typa guy, now its up to you to take my word or whoever you wanna listen to.

Me: I wanna believe you and I do believe you cause I know your not like that! Your one of the most honest guys I've got to know and I never want anything to come between us.

Hamad: Me too, I got too attached to you!

That bitch meme has to keep her mouth shut and not say things that aren't true. I mean how could I be so stupid to believe her, I guess she has that affect on people.
Whatever. Back to Hamad. I couldn't stop smiling when he said that he was so attached to me. I mean technically me and him aren't officially boyfriend/girlfriend but I liked what we had. Most girls would want a commitment but I liked how relaxing and fun our relationship was.

Hamad: I want you in my arms with your sexy sexy voice!

I giggled like a kid and bit my lips cause I was too shy to even respond. I mean he knows I want him physically and emotionally. I don't get people who say you can hold yourself when someone your slowly falling in love with says something that makes every inch of your body tingle.
I couldn't take it anymore, I wanted a kiss from him, soft but strong and tender and would make go "OH BABY!"

Me: I want ...

I couldn't say I wanted a kiss or anything. I was too shy. And they say I'm pretty forward! I just don't wanna say something that I'll regret saying.

Hamad: What do you want? I'll give it to you all.

Me: Your lips.

Hamad: haa? ishglti? 7ada 9ootich wa6ii

Me: Oh you heard me but you just want me to say it again!

Hamad: Then why won't you? I need your ...

The Girl xx