Gonna Find Love Again - Summer 2008 (Part 1)

Here's the new post, its not too short or too long. I hope you guys enjoy it. :x The post is dedicated to all my great readers! :*:*

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I could not believe summer was finally here, Fahad and I would talk on a daily basis, and our conversations would consist of debating about god knows what, flirty comments, a few little hot sexy conversation here and there. I realized everyday how much I was lucky to have him, of course I wouldn’t tell him that 3shan mayekbar rasa 3alay. Anyways, it was already mid-July andfinally the day we’d leave and travel was here. It was the summer where we left to Thailand and let me tell you, I love Bangkok, I was so excited to leave it was unbelievable. I went with my grandmother and little aunt, it was the first time I travel with them but I knew I’d have a blast because they are both hilarious people.

I couldn’t wait to touchdown in Bangkok; I couldn’t wait to see all the gorgeous hot 5aleeji’s coming for holiday there, I couldn’t wait to go crazy shopping, I couldn’t wait to eat French fries from Mcdonalds. There was so much I was looking forward to, I just adore it there and mostly I couldn’t wait to get that gorgeous sun kissed tan for all my friends to see.

We got into the airplane at 8 am in the morning and I was so tired, barely had any make-up on. We had to land in Dubai first and from there go to Bangkok. I started looking at the list of movies, since it was a 7-hour flight. I finally agreed to watch the Notebook, since I was in the mood for a romance movie. We landed in Dubai and we had to wait inside the airplane for an hour. I was sitting alone at the front row because my aunt couldn’t leave my grandma all by herself. I looked out the window and a bus with a bunch of people approaching our plane. Oho, I looked like shit I didn’t want any hot guy or any one to see my like this. People started taking their seats and finally the airplane was going to take off. I wanted to take a peek at who entered the plane, maybe one hot emaratii I could just stare at and drool over.

I wanted to go to the toilet but I didn’t want to go to the one in front, I really wanted to see who was behind me, I felt the place was packed and so I was intrigued. I stood up and made my way to the back, I was too shy to look at anyone, my head was down. Jeez Nelly, really? Like really? Couldn’t even take a damn peek?

I waited for the toilet since it was busy; I really needed to go to the toilet. What’s taking this person so long? I look left and right and try to spot someone decent, uff I can only see the back heads of everyone. Finally the person who was occupying the toilet opened the door, my head was down the whole time and so I put my head up. And my face was in shock! Now guess who it was? Seriously? Drum rolls please!

FAHAD!

I know, can this scene be any gayer; I mean why the hell is he here? And why didn’t he tell me? I starred at him again to make sure that it was really him, and it was. I really felt like I was in a cliché movie, I pinched myself to see if this was real or I was just dreaming. OUCH!

Oh this was no dream, it was pretty damn real, I just looked at him and he had that smile on his face.

Fahad: Nelly? Shtsween ihni?

Me: Your asking me ana shaswii ihni? This is my plane! I told you I was going at this time and this date. A7een fehamt youm ts2lnii about my flight number, inzain shola matgooli??

Fahad: Knt abii afaj2ich?

Me: Are you here by yourself?

Fahad: la la akahii ilwalad m3ay, oo wld 3amii oo ilwalad ihnak fee Bangkok mnn isboo3

Me: Y3ni you knew this whole time that you were gona be in Bangkok for the summer and you didn’t tell me?

Fahad: eeh, ana 6ool ilwakt mstanes inch btjeen Bangkok.

Me: inzain roo7 ig3ad fee your seat oo ana baroo7 il7amam oo ba6la3 oo basaleem 3ala umik

I went to the toilet and did my business. I looked at myself in the mirror, I need to put something on my face, and it was so pale and looks very tired. I knew I should’ve slept last night instead of pulling an all-nighter. I left the toilet and was looking for Fahad and I found him and his mom sitting next to him. I approach them and go say hi to her.

Me: Hala 5altii

Um Fahad: Hala 7bebtii, sh’hal mofaja2ah il7ilwa

I blush, since I didn’t know what to reply.

Me: sha5brich 5altii?

Um Fahad: il7emdiallah b5air, inti sh5barich? Oo mabrook 3al t5arooj

Me: tmam il7emdiallah, allah ybareek feech.

I blush some more and I can see Fahad next to her laughing his ass off at me.

Me: 5ala9 5altii ba5leekom. T2mroon 3ala shay?

Um Fahad: laa 7bebtii ila salamtich.

I glance at Fahad and give him a smile and go back to my seat.

I couldn’t believe Fahad’s here, it was so hard to wrap my head around the idea. How long is he gona be there for? Is he here for me? I don’t think so; he’s here with his family. I don’t really care, aham shay he’s here and he’s gona be in Bangkok, yaaaiiy.

I glanced at my aunt and grandma; they were so deep in their sleep.

I continued to watch the notebook, after it love actually, followed by continuous episodes of friends. I was in the best mood ever and no one can ruin it for me. The flight attendant announced that we’re descending and so I got out of my seat to take off my 3abaya and I grabbed my make-up bag with me.

I went inside the toilet; yes my whole life was revolved around me being in toilets. Anyways, I started to apply some make-up, not so much though so it doesn’t seem so obvious that something’s different. I take off my 3abaya and play with my hair it was pretty poofy so I tied it in a ponytail and left the toilet. I opened the door and made my way to my seat. I walked slowly and I can see that Fahad was staring from the tip of my eye. Sighs, or maybe I was imagining that happens sometimes too.

I sat at my seat and looked at the window and saw Thailand or something that looks like land so I just assumed it was Bangkok since that was our destination. We finally landed and first thing I do is turn on my phone.

3 new messages

From: Haya

I overslept! Knt abii aklmich before you leave!

From: Jazi

Il7edmallah 3al salama mo8adaman!

From: Fahad

You look sexy. ;)

The Girl xx

Bob 9 (Love Happens)

Yes, I'm finally back and found sometime to writing something. I've missed my blog and missed every single person who constantly comments and reads all most posts :*

I thought I'd start my first post with a bob and then hopefully by tomorrow or the day after a new post for my story will be posted and let me tell you, it'll be one hell of a post ;p, hopefully, inshallah.

So I was in class bored to death and so I start youtubing what new movies are going to come out and I come across this movie that made me get major goosebumps. I love romance movies, always tend to put me in the best mood and makes me believe that there's someone out there for me. I know what I just said cannot be anymore cliche, but I live for cliches.

Anyways here's the trailer, Jennifer Aniston stars in it and let me know what you guys think.

LOVE HAPPENS

Did I mention that I've missed you guys so much, well I do and I hope you guys didn't forget about me O=)

Hiatus (I'll be right back)

Hello my sexy ass readers. 

Did I tell you that I love you guys, like a lot? Anyhoo, I'm not gona be posting anything for about a week, hopefully less. Just wanted to keep you guys informed. =) 

The Girl xx

Gonna Find Love Again (Part 27)

This post is dedicated to my love bug Aphrodite. Love you to death gorgeous.

Do enjoy the post ;*;* (Ps. I love every person who comments on

my story, cause wallah they all always put a smile on my face!)

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I kept staring at him, my hands were

still crossed and I tried to give a straight face, so he feels bad.

Fahad: Yallah get in.

I stayed quiet and just kept on staring at him, he looked at me straight in the eye, we had a few seconds of just staring at each other and he gave me that smirk and I couldn't help but smile.

Fahad: fdaaaaaait hal ibtsama, doom inshallah

I put my head down and in a very very low shy tone, I say.

Me: weeyak inshallah *face turns red*

Fahad: y5ttttiiii wallah ityanen!

I make my way to the car, openthe door and see a pink flowers on the passenger seat, it was those flowers that are very small and you find a lot in your garden. Well I've seen a lot of them.

Me: haay shu?

Fahad: What does it seem to you? a bomb?

Me: sa5eef! mnn wain jeebta?

Fahad: on my way back to you

Me: Can you be anymore cliche?

Fahad: Yes I can actually, you want me to write you a poem too?

Me: No this will do. Thing is I live for cliches

Fahad: aham shay you like it Nelly.

Me: Of course I do baby, it's from you.

Fahad: Inzain yallah get in, it pretty hot outside.

I get in the car and close the door and he starts driving. I play with my hair and look out the window, everything seemed so beautiful. I had no idea where we were and I was the type of person that knows every road in the country. Suddenly I feel something warm grabbing my hand, I turn and see Fahad holding it and he gives it a soft kiss and keeps holding my hand. I give him a big smile and he responds the same way and then our fingers intervene and I felt so safe. Right there with him.

I wanted to stay there forever, just like that. I knew I couldn't, I had to call the damn driver to come get me. So I do and tell him to come pick me up from the same place he dropped me.

Fahad: laaish you called him? twa badrii

Me: Fahad, I can't, lazem areed ilbait. Bas can we go to the mcdees abii ice cream boo riyal.

Fahad: Inshallah

We eventually get to mcdees and I take my order and Fahad didn't order anything. I started licking my ice cream, and I can see his eyes on me. It was so funny, problem is I was probably making him laugh. Then guess what I do, since I'm so clumsy, the ice cream drips on my blouse.

Me: Kila mn 3ainik! itha kan fee 5a6rik chan you ordered

Fahad: It didn't look so good then but seeing you have it, I wanted it too.

Me: basik, hold this, let me clean my blouse.

I give him my ice cream and clean my blouse with the tissue, I tried to get most of it but it needs some more cleaning. I turn to take my ice cream back, ila its not there.

Me: wain my ice cream?

Fahad: madrii wallah

Me: faaaaaaahhhaaad!

Fahad: I couldn't help but eat it. Please lat3a9been.

Me: ufff, fine! this time ba5aleeha tmshii

We finally arrived at xx place and I gave him a wave and paced my way to the car in a hurry cause I didn't wanna be late even more. The whole way home, I was thinking about him. I couldn't help but thinking about him, I was so happy to have him in my life. I finally arrived home and went straight to my room, changed into my pjays and got into bed.

I always have to look at my mobile before I sleep and so I do, I see two messages.

One new message.

From: Fahad

You don't understand how happy I was today and still am. kalmeni gabel matnameen

One new message.

From: Hamad

Can't stop thinking about you since last night.

Dear god, really? Y3ni does Hamad have a radar when I'm happy and trying to move on, he sends a message like that. I wasn't sure if I was gona reply to him or not, cause I still had some feelings for him, I dunno I was really confused back then. I got comfortable in bed and called Fahad.

Fahad: Hala o'3ala

Bob 8 ( The addiction we have for dirty hot messages)

An example of a girl and guy dirty texting. (Ps. It usually gets worse than this.)

Boy: You looked so sexy in that dress you had on the other night. I wanted so much to take it off you and run my fingers all over naked body.

Girl: 7bebi, it makes so hot when you say that. I want you, now.

Boy: Tadreen ina loo inti m3ay ihni chan magdar amseek nafsi.

Girl: Hmmm ..

Boy: Abii bosa.

Girl: laaa

Boy: Yallah 3mrii, I miss the taste of those lips

Girl: Ast7ii

Boy: fdaaaaait ili tst7ii ana, Give my your lips and I'll do all the work.

Girl: Okay.

Boy: Garbii

Girl: Garabt

Boy: b3ad izyada

Girl: akanii garabt b3ad

Boy: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmwwwwwwwwaaa777.

Girl: Hmmm ..

Boy: i wanna taste you

Girl: :$

Boy: Abii amee9 ilsanich

Girl: Ma3arf

Boy: inti 6al3eli iyah

Girl: akaah baby.

Boy: aaa55, it tastes so good! mmmmm ..

I can go on forever, but let's not make this bob into a prono. So I was laying in bed all alone thinking, looking through my messages and I had a void for hot messages. I mean it's not like I had a million guys sending me them, I actually just had one. I miss him but I miss those messages even more. I know it's weird, however I don't think I'm the only one that feels like this. I bet a lot of girls do, I'm just more open about it I guess. I read in a magazine once, its the best way to turn the heat in your relationship.

I mean I do enjoy getting them when it's from the guy I love, it's meaningless when its a random guy or someone you don't feel so deeply attracted too. Also the thing that made the dirty messages more hotter and more valuable is that it was from someone special that deeply cared about me and didn't see me as a piece of meat.

I prank called someone once, it was random and childish. Anyways, he was a very peverted man, though I didn't know that at that time, it was just for a laugh. Throughout the 10 minute phone call he kept on saying stuff like, "amoot 3ala ili wara", "aaa55 iw9feeli jsmich" or "fdait jsmich". It was disgusting, like really. However if that came from someone I wanted and loved, it might have thrilled me a little. Point is, dirty messages are an addiction, I don't know if its just me or others feel the same way.


Ps. The messages between a the guy and girl are random, I made them up.

Bob 7 (Why do we let guys affect us so much?)

I was watching an episode from Sex and The City for over the 3rd time maybe? I can never get bored of the show. Point it is, Miranda the red head said something that made me think.

"We can feel totally good about our-selves.....and then it all goes out the window if the guy doesn't mirror it back to us."

That really made me question myself, how many times have I let a guy bring down my self esteem? And if so, why do I let a guy have that much influence on me? I'm not saying all girls let guys affect them that much, but most girls do. I, myself gave the advantage to a guy once, and I made him control how my day would be, if he was all nice to me and gave me a small bite of his attention, I'd be in the best mood ever! Hyper, happy, smiley, funny and so on. But there would be the days, which were most days, where he didn't give me much interest, now god forbid someone would talk to me, I'd be all moody, depressed, sad, mad you name it. It took me ages to realize that the guy didn't care about me as much as I did for him and it made me real sad, but why? Why can't we be like men and couldn't careless, why do we have to go and say "oh I bet it cause I looked really bad today", "He doesn't like girls like me, no guy is ever interested in me." or "I'm really ugly that's why he's not interested."

Why should we feel bad about who we are, just because one guy is not interetsed. We should face the fact, that not every guy in the small world we live in will be interested in us, and we shouldn't blame ourselves for that, it'a probably because were just not his type. It's normal. Us girls need to feel good about ourselves and not let anyone take that from us.

Gonna Find Love Again (Part 26)

This post is goes to the gorgeous Lilo ever! A7bcccch :*:* This might not be so long, bas inshallah you guy's like it ;)

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I do want him, that’s the thing. I wanna feel loved, I mean I’m not saying the love that my family and friends give me is not enough, it’s more than enough. But the love he’ll provide me will be so different; we won’t be friends with a lot of flirtatiousness and benefits. We’d actually have a relationship. I’d be his and he’d be mine, only mine. And if I just let him go, I know I might not get someone as good as he is, I mean these days the good ones are going like how bags become sold out. Plus I’d be so jealous if he was with another girl. I think that proves that I do want him but I’m worried he’d turn out like Hamad, I mean Hamad is still good with me. I don’t wanna lose him. Ahh! This is too much for me to handle. I really do think Fahad might be different, but then again that’s what every girl says about the guy she likes and wants. What am I gona lose if I become his, I mean why not try it and let it slowly progress into something strong and real. What if we break up? Does that mean we’ll never talk to each other and bkon fee awkwardness? Laa I don’t want that. T3abt, I hate thinking, it hurts my brain. Uff.

Fahad: Nelly, I’m sorry if I’m too forward. Tell me that you don’t want me and I will never bother you with this.

I stare into his eyes; they look so innocent and genuine. I wish all guys were just like him and would be as good as him. He’s so sweet, makes me feel so special and never have I felt upset or mad or anything bad with him. I’m always in a good mood when I’m around him; I mean how could you not be with that smile that brightens my day. He makes the world a happy place, shit, no this is not happening. I like him so much already. You know what I’m not gona do the mistake I did with Hamad, I mean at that time I didn’t know that I was kinda used, me and Hamad are friends till today bas haven’t heard from him for about four months from today. Nothing new there though.

Me: Fahad bas what if we break up? I can’t ever lose you; I always wanna have you in my life. Six years of you being so far away was enough. I can’t take anymore than that.

Fahad: babe, don’t worry, that’ll never happen.

Me: Are you sure Fahad?

I frown and he parks the car somewhere I have no idea where we were, it was so dark. He cups my face with his both big hands (again that’s a HUGE bonus ;)) and then he looks deep in my eyes and gives me the sexiest smirk ever and kisses my forehead.

Fahad: I’m positive. Just give me the green light and I’ll take care of you.

Me: Bas Fahad,

Fahad: basich bas Fahad, tara law3tii chbdi, 5ala9 golelii okay oo bas.

Me: hahahaha, Okay.

Fahad: 9j Nelly?

Me: eeh 9j

I give him a smile, and I still remember that smile, it was from my heart, cause I was so happy at that moment. He leaves the car.

Me: HELLO? INT WAIN RAYEE7??

He opens my side of the car.

Fahad: I6LE3II YALLAH!

What the hell? What’s wrong with this boy? I didn’t even have time to wear my 3abaya or shella, wayed 3a9abii, Laykon he’s bipolar or something. I look around, and the place seemed like I park I guess bas seriously there was no one there. I was kinda scared, glt akeed he’s pulling a prank ila, he faces me and just looks down to me cause he’s so tall. We had about a meter between us, then out of know where he pulls me towards him and holds me tight in his arm. Since he was very tall, I kinda reached his chest oo he held me so tight, it didn’t feel sexual, it felt like I was safe and I had someone that’ll always make me feel like that. My legs were in between his, like his legs were open oo ana my legs in the middle. That kinda felt hot, oo it was the first time I ever hugged a guy like that and I’m hoping he’ll be the last. I just wanted him, no one else.

Fahad: 7bebtii inti

Me: Aren’t I lucky to have you

Fahad: You lucky? Trust me babe, you’re not as lucky as I am. I have the girl that I want in my arms. I don’t think it can get any better than this.

We stayed in the position for about another few minutes, until I pushed him away and he accidently fell on the floor

Me: hahaha sorry, didn’t mean to make you fall.

Fahad: wallah inch matst7een

I give him my hand to help him get up, instead he pulls me to the ground and I fall. He gets up fast and starts pacing to his car.

Fahad: hahaha, look who’s on the floor now. Byeeeee!

Me: FAHAD FLAN AL-FLANI, I know you’d never leave me here.

Fahad: you sure about that?

Me: Of course

I pull myself off the ground and start walking to the car, he’s already inside, ila the car moves, and not slowly, fast. I wasn’t gona run to it, I know he’d come back, i7mar, yaheel. The thing is the car keeps going further and further away, I didn’t even have my phone to call him oo threaten that I’d kill him. His car disappears, until I see it again, il2hbal went around the whole park and then came around to me. He opened his window. I crossed my hands and stayed staring at him.

Fahad: What’s the going rate for you people? How much for you to spend the whole night with me?


The Girl xx

Bob 6 (Interpretation)

I was googling as I usually do, then I came across this love site and found this interpretation of how guys and girls view love.


Boy:I saw her today...
Girl:I saw him today...
Boy:It seems like its been forever
Girl: I wonder if he still cares...
Boy:She looks better than before...
Girl: I couldn`t help but stare
Boy:I asked her how she was
Girl: I asked him about his new girlfriend
Boy: I`d choose her over any girl
Girl: He`s probably happy now
Boy:I couln`t look at her without thinking i would cry.
Girl: He couldn`t even look at me...
Boy:I told her I missed her...
Girl: He told me he missed me...
Boy: I meant it...
Girl: He didn`t mean it...
Boy:I love her
Girl: He loves her...
Boy: I held her
Girl: He gave me a friendly hug...
Boy: Then I went home and cried...
Girl: Then I went home and cried...
Boy: I lost her
Girl: I lost him
Boy: *Sigh*
Girl: *Sigh*

When I read that, it kinda broke my heart, cause truly there are people who just over analyze situation and misunderstands what the other means. I mean in this situation the guy really wanted the girl and she thought he's moved on and didn't have any interest in her. However usually it'll be the girl over analyzing every word the guy said and what he meant by that, I mean I myself am guilty of that sometimes. There are times when we should take things as they are and just go with the flow and let it be.

Ps. Again do make sure your volume is on to listen to one of my favortie Lady Gaga songs. As the amazing Lady Gaga say's "Cause, I do not, accept any less than someone just as real, as fabulous." That should be every girl's moto.

Gonna Find Love Again (Part 25)

I have to say this is dedicated to all my lovely readers! All your comments mean so much to me and always tend to put a smile on my face, really.

Do enjoy my sexy ass readers. ;*

Ps. Do make sure your volume is on, so you can listen to one of my fav buble songs. The song always tends to put me in the best mood ever! ;p

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I don’t get why I was feeling guilty, it’s not like I’m Hamad’s. I can do whatever I please to do, whenever I want to. And it’s not like Hamad was head over heels in love with me. I mean I know when a guy loves me and when he doesn’t. Tho I want him, cause I know I can’t fully have him. Ugh, Why was I so stupid when I was younger. It’s not like we’d end up together, what was I thinking?

The evening came by so fast, so I started to get ready for me and Fahad’s date? Or hangout? I have no idea what it was exactly? The thing is I put myself in these situations, sighs. I look at my closet, trying to find something decent to wear. I find this cute green printed see through blouse, I get a white tank top to wear under it, black leggings and my gladiator flats that are just to die for! Seriously. My look was causal bas at the same time not too casual; most importantly it doesn’t look like I’ve tried too hard. Someone once told me, guys appreciate simplicity and find the beauty in it. I put the usual make up I do, but no liquid black eye linear, wanted to look natural but pretty at the same time. I braid my fringe on the side like Lauren Conrad does, I love doing it. I saw this video on youtube and it teaches you how to do it like her and I’ve always wanted to learn, so why not show off my talents.

I finally take a look at myself in the mirror and I loved how I looked honestly, I was happy with the outcome. I finally remember that I need to call Fahad, cause I have no idea where he wants us to hangout.

Me: Hala Fahad

Fahad: ahlain feech, haa weenich?

Me: a7een ba6la3 mnn ilbait. Bas I called to ask, where are we meeting?

Fahad: xx petrol station, I’ll pick you up mnn ihnak oo we’ll go wherever from there.

Me: okay, yallah bye.

Fahad: bye

I hung up.

I call the driver to get the car outside, wear my 3abaya and leave home. In about 15 minutes I finally arrive at xx petrol station, Fahad wasn’t there yet, so I went down and told the driver that I’d call him later to come get me. There was a Mcdonalds there and so I go in and order a supersize French fries and coke with ice. As I got my order and was about to indulge in it, my phone rings.

RING RING RING Fahad RING RING RING

Me: Kinda late aren’t we?

Fahad: inti ma9adgtii ina I’m late so you get your mcdonalds. Yallah 6le3i

Me: bye.

I hung up.

I see his black range approaching me; damn does that car get to me every time. Ps. the car the guy drives is a very important factor to me, I’m not saying that he has to drive a Ferrari or whatever expensive car. However he does get bonus points if he drives a car like a Range Rover, BMW x6. I open the door, and loud music blasts off, it was Bed By J.Holiday. I love the song, and let me tell you he had good taste in music and the music he listens to goes perfectly with his personality. I get in the car and place my coke 3nd the cup holder thing then close the door.

Me: You know this is Haya’s favorite song, seriously. She has amazing taste in music, nafsik.

Fahad: Now why wasn't I introduced to Haya then.

Me: hahaha, Inshallah when your back.

We were just staring at each other for about a few seconds, until I moved my eye to my food. He always has a way to put a smile on my face. A555 ya galbi, I’m so confused. I told myself, for the next few hour, I’m gona forget about Hamad and just enjoy my time with Fahad. I took another peek at him and I loved what he was wearing. Very casual, but too sexy for words, a fitted black polo shirt and dirty jeans. He has a hot style ysakeet 3ala kil ilshabab, well that’s what I thought anyways. He caught my eyes analyzing him mn fog lain ta7at, so I turn and nibble at my French fries. I look to the right and then I felt thirsty so I turned to take a sip from my coke, but it’s not there anymore. Guess where it was? Yes, your right, in his hands and he’s drinking from it. A little info about me, I hate sharing my drink, hate it.

Me: Fahad! Give my drink back!!!

Fahad: laa I’m thirsty

Me: I don’t care, uff.

Fahad: hahahaha, your soo easy to get to.

Me: Hmph. Give it!

Fahad: la

Me: uff

Fahad: a7la shay lama it3a9ben

Me: You sure hay a7la shay?

Fahad: yep!

Me: Okay

I approach him and my face is so close to his face like my lips are 2 inches away from his and I move my way to his cheek, and you can feel he’s all relaxed, and just when I was about to kiss him, I pull my coke away from his hands. At that moment I felt like I won, but as I was going back to my seat, he pulls my face back and place’s a fast yet hot kiss close to my cheek and his lips move and kiss the left side of my upper lip. I got an electric shock, I don't wanna admit it but his lips felt so good where they were. As soon as I snapped out of it, I went back to my seat. I don’t know what just happened, I mean I didn’t know how to react, I’m not gona lie I did enjoy it but was it what I wanted?

Me: You shouldn’t have done that.

Fahad: You shouldn’t have come so close to me; do you know how hard it is to keep my hands off you when you’re this close?

Me: I was just teasing you to get to my coke.

Fahad: Why are you scared Nelly?

Me: I’m not scared, I just don’t wanna get into anything.

Fahad: laish? Y3ni I want you, in every way. You know you can trust me, I mean we’ve known each other since youm yahal. We’ve traveled together, y3ni, why can’t you let me take care of you?

Me: I don’t know, I don’t wanna depend on anyone like that. What if you break my heart? And don’t say you won’t, cause you never know what happens in the future

Fahad: inti laish chii it38deen ilsalfa. Just go with the flow. Plus, I can’t break your heart cause we’ve got history. It’s not like I’m some random guy you just met and your getting to know. Our families are good friends. You know me and I know you.

Me: I know Fahad, bas

Fahad: bas shno? Kila bas bas bas

Me: Fahad don’t be like that.

Fahad: Your forcing me to be like this. Nelly you can lie to yourself bas I know you like me and so do I. I mean I wake up in the morning thinking of you. I sleep thinking of you. And for the past month, I’m getting a feeling that you’re drifting away cause your scared to fall in love.

Me: I do like you Fahad. I don’t know, I hear people getting hurt by the guy they love oo madri shnoo.

Fahad: ee bas the majority of these people, seeda get into love. But with us it’ll be different, cause we were friends at first and then slowly progressed into something more. They say the bases of a good relationship are when you were good friends at the beginning. Bas of course it’s not 100% accurate and it doesn’t work for everyone. But I think it’ll work for us, plus lets say if something happens, oo inshallah la, we’ll always be friends because that’s how we started.

Me: You’ve really thought about this, haven't you? Wallah the girl that’ll have you will be one lucky girl.

Fahad: Nelly, be that girl. I want you and only you.


The Girl xx

Bob 5 (Is love a want or a need?)

Is love a want or a need?

Us girls seem to be settling on for anything, these days. Where'd our dignity go? Is it cause due to media and what they perceive as love, we want it more than ever now? I feel like, love is not a want anymore, its a need. I mean sometimes I try to make myself believe that I can wait till I get married and fall in love again. However when you watch shows like Sex and the City, Gossip Girl, Lipstick Jungle and so on, you want the love that they have. And I always tend to change my mind, especially at nights, when I'm all alone and I miss that person that stayed up with me and made me feel so special. Once you had a small bit of the cake, you wanna go back for more. Sometimes I believe it's better never taste it, then to get a tiny piece of it. You just always keep going back to the time where it tasted so good. 

It's so hard to find that person, that person that'll satisfy you. I feel like it's so much easier for people around me to find someone they like these days and it's much harder for me. I can't seem to find that guy, that one guy, that's everything I ever wanted. Maybe I just have high expectations and no guy can really reach them. Then what am I suppose to do, have less expectations and take what I can get? 

Bob 4 (You're it)

You're It

I said, I'm done searching. 

I think I found you. 

You might be "the one."

The person that I've been looking for.

But I'm done putting so much effort. 

All my effort is worn out. 

I hope you're everything you say you are. 

Cause if you are, together we can make magic

We can have something real.

I can finally feel this thing they call love, one more time. 

I love everything that you are. 

It'll be a hard journey to get to where we wanna be 

But you're it. 

Gonna Find Love Again (Part 24)

This post is dedicated to Nawarii, thanks for actually reading my Bob's and commenting ;* love u.

Do enjoy lovely readers. :*

_______________________________________

Oh my god did he just say that? That’s how I felt back then, come to think of it now, how stupid was I? To believe such crap. Well, he said that and everything was back to normal for the past month, we didn’t talk about his “sickness” and we acted all normal. At that time I didn’t want to remind him and talk about, since 3ala golta he might not have much time.

Fahad on the other hand, everything was normal with him too, I started to drift away from him. I mean we had our phone calls and everything bas we didn’t hangout as much. It didn’t feel right being with 2 guys, even tho the relationships weren’t defined and I didn’t wanna be mean to Hamad and stop talking to him, cause I thought he was dying. Whatever.

I graduated from high school; exams were tough bas I managed. Fahad did attend my graduation, he got me roses too and a gift from Cartier the trinity ring. Still love wearing it today. How’d he know I’ve been wanting it since well not forever bas for a while, sighs. Fdaitah. Our graduation was such an amazing experience, it felt sad to see everyone moving on.

That same day we all went out for dinner, like all our friends and our mothers, it was great. I miss those days honestly.

I went back home after the dinner at like 1ish maybe, I got a call from Hamad.

Hamad: Congrats 7bebti

Me: hahaha, Thanks babe. Yallah your next. I wish I can come to your grad.

Hamad: You know the invitation’s always there.

Me: hahaha.

We stayed silent for a few minutes.

Me: What are you thinking right now?

Hamad: Do you really wanna know?

Call waiting. Haya.

Me: yes bas dgeega I got another line.

Hamad. Hold.

Me: heey

Haya: shtsween?

Me: Talking to Hamad

Haya: ugh. Ma7eebah

Me: I think I wanna have phone sex with him.

Haya: hahahaha,

Me: no seriously.

Haya: Maynoona

Her favorite word to call me. :p

Me: inzain he’s on the other line.

Haya: okay, I wanna know all the details later.

Me: hahaha okay .. goodnight babe. I love you and I can’t wait for uni with you and Jazi.

Haya: Love you too. Yeaah mee too!

Me: yallah I’ll call you later

Haya: bye

I would say I hung up, bas Haya usually beats me and hangs up first.

Me: hey sorry. You were saying.

Hamad: I don’t remember honestly.

Me: haha wala ana. OH wait. I do remember. I wanted to know what you were thinking.

Hamad: Are you sure?

Me: eeeh! Yallah.

Hamad: you.

Me: Me what?

Hamad: I’m thinking of you.

Me: oh ..

We stayed silent for a few more minutes.

Me: You know what I feel like right now?

Hamad: what?

Me: a massage.

Hamad: when I come to Doha we’ll get those couple massages.

Me: hahaha, yeaah. Bas ana what’ve always wanted to try is getting a massage by a guy with big hands.

And when I said big hands I did not mean it that way. Just meant big hands are better for massaging, not like I’ve tried that, but I’m assuming it’ll feel good.

Hamad: mar’6a, shnoo another guy touching you.

Me: 3ayal what are you suggesting?

Hamad: I get to massage you mam. hahaha

Me: hahaha, okay then.

Okay I would give you the details to everything bas ana wayed ast7i, I mean it took me like a few days after to get it all in and tell Jazi and Haya the details. Madrii laish, bas ast7ii. So after the Uh-huh’s and Oh’s and yeah I like it baby. I went to sleep and so did he, cause we were both exhausted after all that.

Let me tell you, it felt so great to wake up in the morning; I slept having a smile on my face and woke up the same way. I look at my cell phone and have two messages.

One new message.

From: Hamad.

Babe, I can’t stop thinking about you, and last night.

One new message

From: Fahad

I’m leaving tomorrow; to Sharjah for a summer course fee AUS. Ahli yabooni akoon igreeb. I wanna see you today before I leave. My flight to Dubai is early in the morning tomorrow.

Wow, time passes so fast. I totally forgot he had to go to take a summer course that he failed during the second semester.

I didn’t know if I should call and see him or not. It didn’t feel right, I mean its not like I was cheating on Hamad, cause again we were just like friends with benefits and a lot of feelings. Whatever, I called him o see what’s up.

Fahad: hala o’3ala

Me: ahlain

Fahad: 3ash mn sema2 9ootich

Me: umm .. ma3arf shagool tara .. allah y3afeek?

Fahad: hahaha, latgoolen shay a7sanlich

Me: Inzain,

Fahad: Can I see you tonight?

Me: umm .. yeah I guess.

Fahad: itha matbeen mob ‘3a9eeb

Me: la la I want too. Is 8 good?

Fahad: eeh perfect.

Me: 5ala9, I’ll call you before I leave home 3shan itgoolii wain

Fahad: okay, bye.

Me: byyee

I hung up.


The Girl xx

Ps. madrii itha tboon r rated details or not. Yes or no? Itha taboon, I'll post it later tonight. Just let me know. :)

Bob 3 (Imagine That)

So I went to watch the movie Imagine That, starring Eddie Murphy and Yara Shahidi. It was a Comedy/Drama movie. It was soooooo cute! I mean funny and emotional and all. I started crying at the end of the movie when he came as the king, seriously. My brother was like staring at me like what the hell, this is a comedy why you crying? :p I loved it. Which made me start thinking about my Hubby and how I want him to be silly and do crazy stuff like that, just to make our daughter or son happy. I want a husband, if were in Disney Land, he'd go play with the kids and act like one too. Not all the time ofcourse, that would be annoying, bas from time to time yes ofcourse. I want him to put his kids first and not his job. sighs. Point is, go watch the movie. It's cute and funny. Perfect. It's not an amazing movie, but an enjoyable movie.

Thats it. I'm done bobbing. :p

Ps. The next post will be part 24. ;*


The Girl xx

Bob 2 (I love him)

I love him

Every moment I think of you, I smile.
Your this tall, handsome, tanned, musclar, raw dream of mine.
I feel like I know you.
I want you.
I want you to find me and save me from this misery.
I wanna call you at 4am in the morning just to talk.
I wanna laugh at your jokes when their not even funny.
I want you to see me like no one has ever before.

I want you to love me till my heart stops.
"I want to do everything I love (esecially you)"
If I could wish one thing I'd hear you call my name.

In case you were wondering, you are like a hurricane to me.
Your violence is beautiful, and your center sweet.
And in case you were wondering, you are everything to me.

Ps. Last 3 sentences are from my favorite song Sunsets And Car Crashes by The Spill Canvas

Bob 1

Yes, I know I changed my layout again. I just really get bored pretty fast. I love change. I hate being stuck with the same thing forever, even tho it may be oh so great!

Yes, this is a random post. :P Or shall I say this is a bob post. lool.

I love you guys! ;)

Ps. I don't either know why the title of this post is called Bob, I just love saying the name Bob. I want a turtle that's called bob. sighs.


The Girl xx

Gonna Find Love Again (Part 23)

This post is for Heroine ;*

Ps. Listen to Jordin Sparks - Battlefield. (I know it's not so new, bas I thought I'd share).

Loves it ;*

______________________________________________

Miss me? Yst3bee6 hay, why does he think he has the right to send me something like that, like he wasn’t being a jerk with his earlier msgs. I wasn’t gona answer. The song Gimme more Remix– Britney spears was playing and so I took Jazi’s younger sister cause I know how much she loves this song and so we went with the crowd cause everyone was dancing. Like literally everyone.

Ila achooof someone coming towards me, it was dark. Guess who? Reem.

Reem: I love this song

Me: yeaah me too.

Reem: Nelly a7sich wayed mt’3ayra 3alay

Me: Haaa? I can’t hear you, the music’s too loud

I did hear her bas I really didn’t wanna discuss this now, at a part, y3ni ilnsan maygdar y’3ayer jaw killish?

Reem: 5ala9 I’ll tell you later.

I just danced my way to Haya and Jazi, yst’hbloon bil dance moves, so I joined them and seem to dance like we have no care in the world. The song eventually ended and so I was kinda exhausted and went to look for water. I took my mobile with me and opened my mobile ila I see a message.

One new message.

From: Hamad

Can I call you?

To: Hamad

Sure.

Ila se7abt Haya m3ay we went to Jazi’s room lana I couldn’t stay by myself il9ara7a.

Haya: Ishfeeech?

Me: Hamad is gona call now oo I want you to be here so I don’t say anything I know I’ll regret.

RING RING RING Hamad RING RING RING

Hamad: elloo?

Me: hala

Oh my god! I missed his voice, I really did. You know how superman’s weakness is the kryptonite, well Hamad was my Kryptonite.

Hamad: I miss you.

I so wanted to say I miss you too, let’s just forget all about what you did, but I knew I couldn’t do that. And I knew Haya was gona kill me if I did.

Me: Okay, do you have anything important to say, lana I’m kinda busy.

Hamad: Nelly, inti laish chii?

Me: shnoo laish chii?

Hamad: This is not you.

Me: No this is me with you, since your stupid messages.

Hamad: stupid messages?

Me: eeh stupid! Mno y6aresh message chii ygool oo don’t expect me. Say something like I’m sorry or whatever the fuck

Hamad: I was grieving. So much has been going on, and this why I called.

Me: Oh so you called me now that you need me? Gee thanks!

Hamad: laa akeed I missed you and that’s why I called in first and place. Bas something has been going on and I need you.

Me: What? What’s soo bad that you need me? I think you’ll live

Hamad: Actually, I called to tell you ina I might be dying.

Ana ihni my face was shocked as hell! Oo ana agoola you’ll live. I look at Haya and she can see my face it’3ayar.

Me: Hamad, if this is one of your excuses that don’t seem to be ending, its not funny.

Hamad: Nelly laish bafaweel 3ala nafsi oo baglooch I’m dying. Who jokes about that?

Till this day I don’t know if he said the truth or not. I mean I never brought it up again, bas y3ni I’ve always wanted to know if he’s lying or not. But I don’t. But when I thinking of it today, it seems like he was an asshole who lied to me. Cause he’s still alive today, or that’s what I think. I wouldn’t know.

Me: Dying? Mnn wait? Ishloon?

Hamad: They found a tumor oo if they don’t take it sometime soon, the max I’ll live is two years and the surgery is really risky, that fee a big chance I’ll die on the table while they’re operating.

You see, he didn’t even specify. I mean any person who watches Grey’s anatomy or House can find that out, easily. It doesn’t take a genius. Maybe I should’ve asked for more details to know if he was lying or not. But at that time, I was naïve and believed every word he said. Tara it might’ve been true and he survived it, but again I wouldn’t know.

I couldn’t believe someone I loved some telling me their dying. It so unexpected. I really felt like I was in some kinda soap opera.

Me: Oh my god! Babe, are you okay now?

Hamad: eeh 3adi, bas please don’t tell anyone like meme. Lana it’s no ones business oo madii 7ad y3arf.

Me: eeh akeed.

I really thought at that time ina he really didn’t want anyone to know. Bas when I rethink of all the events that happened, it seems that he didn’t want anyone to know cause if meme knew she would tell people in her school and he didn’t want this lie to go far. But I wouldn’t know what the truth is.

Me: Okay choofi ana basker a7een oo I’ll call you as soon as I go home.

Hamad: okay, 5ala9 bye.

Me: byee

I hung up.

I stayed silent, trying to get it all in.

Haya: ishfeech? Ishfeeh? Ishyabii?

Me: He’s dying.

Haya: Nellyo, inti mn 9jich? Gooli wallah

Me: Wallah, the thing is I have my suspicions, I mean his excuses and the timing.
Madrii. But then again if he really is dying. I wanna be there for him.

Haya: I know the timing is suspicious. Y5tii hal walad oo his excuses

Me: I know! I’d never think in a million years, that I’d come and tell you someone important to me is dying. I feel like we have our own TV show sometimes. The struggling life of the girls.

Haya: I know.

Me: abii aroo7 ilbait, mabii ag3ad oo Reem ihni b3ad

Haya: weeh, itha r7ti ilbait a7een shno btswen? Just get depressed. Yallah 3ad we’ll go done and try to make the best out of the party

Me: eehh okay bas wallah loo jat itkalmnii Reemoo ini bathba7ha. Seriously. MURDER!

I sat next to the DJ and requested a song David Guetta - Tomorrow can wait . I love the song, just love it. I love dancing to it. So I got up, pushed Jazi , Haya, Najla and Farah to the dance floor. Farah just stood there cause wayed tst7ii, we started just dancing to the music and then everyone joined us, so she let go of her shyness. Dancing is the best medicine to let stress out and just to forget about everything for a few minutes.

Honestly, that party was a success, kudos to Jazi for making us forget about exams and all the stressful crap for a few hours. I left after most of the guests did.

When I arrived, I ran straight to my room cause everyone was asleep, our house early sleepers excluding me. I change into my pjays and cuddle under the bed. I stayed just thinking, I wanted to call Fahad bas for some reason I felt guilt. So I didn’t.

I texted Hamad saying I’m home and he can call me if he wants. I then started watching Desperate Housewives and dosed off for a bit, until my phone started vibrating.

RING RING RING Hamad RING RING RING

Me: Hmm ..

Hamad: laykoon ragda?

Me: la la I’m not.

Hamad: sh5barich?

Me: good int?

Hamad: tmam daminch inti 6ayba, w7ashnii 6ootich wayed.

A555!! Shola ygool chi? Ana b3ad w7ashni 9ootik ya hamad. Pssht like I’d every say that after all the bad treatment I got.

Me: So what have you been upto lately?

Hamad: Wallah nothing, it’s been real hard, everything around here is so hectic

Me: ohhh okay, it’ll get better by time inshallah.

Hamad: yeaah inshallah, so how’s everything going with you?

Me: good, exams are starting soon so that’s a hassle. Bas2lik so2al?

Hamad: is2lii

Me: int il6aree8a ili chii maklmtnii oo 6anshtnii 3adla?

Hamad: I know ina it wasn’t right, bas I was sad and didn’t think staright

Me: One of your other excuses?

Hamad: I’m saying the truth and I’m not giving you excuses!

Me: Okay.

Hamad: tadrii ina I talked to my mom about you a9lan.

Me: Now why would you do that? It’s not like me and you are anything.

Hamad: Can I tell you something bas I don’t want it to ruin what we have.

Me: sure.

Hamad: umm ..

And he stayed silent for a bit.

Me: elloo? Hamad?

Hamad: ana ihni ana ihni, inzain ili knt bagolch hw ina loo init fil b7raini m3a and we have the relationship we have right now, chan we’d be engaged.


The Girl xx

Gonna Find Love Again (Part 22)

Okay so I write part 22, and let me tell ya it was LONG. Point is when I wanted to close my computer ibser3a cause I was late to go out, I closed the document oo b3dain it asked, save, no, cancel. I accidently clicked no do not save. Yes I know, it was a stupid moment in my life. Anyways, so this is why this post is not so long, cause I hate rewriting things :P

Do enjoy tho.

Ps. Listen to this song Cascada - Evacuate the dancefloor
My new good mood dance song

______________________________________________

I knew exactly what he meant, bas a7eb I act stupid 3shan he’s forced to say it word by word.

Me: shu? I look that bad? Laish maglt mn gabel 3shan I do some changes!

Fahad: ishd5al bad a7een? Ana glt bad?

Me: laa bas you said I can’t let you leave looking like that, I just assumed you mean ina I look bad oo matbii ilnas ychoofoni this bad

Fahad: hahaha, inti oo tafkerich ilnegative, makan 89di chii killish

Me: 3ayal shno 89dik?

Fahad: 5ala9 wala shay, it passed.

Me: laaa Fahad. Goolii!!

Fahad: laaa 5ala9 mabii

Me: faaaaaaahhhaaaad! Yallah 3shani! I’ll do that thing you love so much since you were a kid. Haa? *winks*

Fahad: In that case, I meant ina you look so good, that I don’t want you to leave me. I just can’t get enough of you.

Me: umm .. shu? Masema3t 3adel

Fahad: latstblain and let’s get down to business

Me: Business?

Fahad: eeh yallah. Your hands please.

Me: tara I haven’t don’t it in a while, so I might suck at it and it may not give you the same pleasure it used too.

Fahad: 3adii,

Me: yallah let's get this over with

As I said that I tried to move closer to him so I can be close to his neck, I wasn't comfortable at all cause I was reaching out to him and oo the way I was seating, KILLS! Ilmohim I put my hands wara his neck and start massaging his neck slowly.

Fahad: hmm .. Damn your still so good at it

Me: I know my hands are magical, guess what other things could've be doing *wink* hahahaha

Fahad: itgoolnli ana oo tafkerii, choofi tafkerich inti

Me: Yallah 5ala9 focus on the road babe.

Fahad: Thanks.

Me: my pleasure.

Fahad: Inzaaain.

Me: Can I do something?

Fahad: umm .. sure

I hold his upper part of his arms with my hands, and damn does he have strong muscles.

Fahad: Yeaah, I know, I work out.

Me: I bet you do.

Ila he takes one of his hands from the steering wheel and holds my upper arm and squeezes it.

Me: ouch!

Fahad: Your sooo small baby

Me: ofcourse I am, I'm a girl!

And then he slowly makes his way down to my hands and just has his hands on top of mine and rubs them, then his fingers slowly intervene with my fingers and I got a shock mnn fog lain ta7at. I looked the other way, ast7ii achoofa when he does these little things to me. Magdar, I mean you can know everything from how my face reacts.

Fahad: Nelly, look at me.

Me: hmm ..

Fahad: fdait those gorgeous eyes of urs. Every time I look at them I get lost, their so big and beautiful. Mshallah

Me: Thank you, matga9eer 3ala kalmik il7ilo

Fahad: inti il7ilwa

Me: ohhhooo 5ala9, ast7ii lama itgool chii! (And my face turns red)

Fahad: astaneeees lama tst7een

I stay quiet.

RING RING RING Jazi RING RING RING

Jazi: inti wainch?

Me: umm .. I'm on my way jaytich.

Jazi: okay, byee

Me: Byee

I hung up.

Me: Fahad lets go back I need to go, Jazi bt3a9eeb.

Fahad: eeh 5ala9 okay 3ayal.

Thank god we weren’t far from my car, when we eventually arrive. I leave his car, and just when I'm about to close the door.

Fahad: Nelly

I turn.

Me: haa?

Fahad: laa walay shay, have fun oo gooli 7ag Jazi Thanks

And you can see a huge smile on his face, it was too adorable!

Me: inshallah.

I get into my car seeda and tell the driver to hurry to Jazi's place, it took about 10 minutes and when I arrived, I felt like I was kinda over dressed bas when I went in, I soooo wasn't.

I saw Jazi, wearing that red puffy baby doll dress, that I helped pick, well she picked it bas I watched her try ever dress fil ma7al, so I think I can get credit. Anyways she was wearing her favorite black heels and black stockings. Her was in a loose but high pony tail and she had gold studs on. And her make up looked a lot like mine, there's gotta be something Jazi and Nelly accidentally have the same. Point is she look stunning.

Next to her was Haya wearing her purple fluffy silky loose blouse with a short pencil skirt that flattered her ass. Mashallah, if someone has a good ass, trust me its Haya. :x Anyways she had her hair on the side all curled up and volumy, I always love the way she does her hair and try to do somewhat like it but never seem to get the same results. Overall, she looks gorgeous!

I don't think anyone actually knows I analyze this much, but I kinda do, that's why I notice things and then people sometimes get upset that I do. :P

Anyways, everyone was already there, Najla, Sawsan, Reem, Farah and all the other girls from our class. Reem looked UGH! Seriously, not cause I hate her bas she just looks soo fake, m3a her red printed dress and leggings, MOB 7ILO!

My phone vibrates.

One new message.

From: Hamad

I miss you.

The Girl xx